10 March 2014: Monday ... two consecutive workouts at Y this am (Helena for Body Pump and Renee for Body Combat) ... Lois comes for a visit ... drove Roberta Headley to Racheal VerNooy's place near Ashland for Associates' rehearsal ...

Mom shows the family artwork of her sister, my Aunt Carol, who 
she called Caroline, to Lois Greef, the beneficent, generous, lovely
soul of a friend and person. 

Just completed a walk of exactly 1.0 miles as I entered the house but it started with my second conversation with Sonya (Ducote DuBois), my quiet neighbor from across the street, who had her two gorgeous children with her. Kimberly, 2, in her little red ski hat with tails and her piercing blue eyes and her amazingly quiescent demeanor, and Benjamin, 6 months old today, in his portable cradle and also quiet as a lamb sleeping. She asked about dad and I told her he'd passed just over 3 months ago and told her the story of his last days. She asked where I lived and what was my last name. (She is on FB and I asked her to look me up because of the picture of mom with her other neighbor across the street, Stacy, and her hair styling acumen). It was so nice to talk again, she is such a sweet young mother but so busy with work and two young children, separated in age much like our Nick and Lindsay, only in reverse order of sexes).

She, remarkably, took up my offer to FB friend me and take a look at pics, presumably, of mom getting her hair done by fellow neighbor Stacy, but now I know her last names and they ring with French origin ... Sonya Ducote DuBois.  

Serendipity, again, spoke with Danielle (she worked out in front of me during Body Pump led by Brighton-borne Helena and was impressive, small but strong) on the way to Body Combat and spoke of my affection for Renee and meeting her beautiful young daughter the other day. "I'm her godmother," she said, and went on to say how they were school friends and had been working out for years going back to Jazzercize classes together.

Finally settled the annuity issue with Allstate with a wonderfully productive call to the toll-free line. Will be sending information on the account and we can move forward. When we get the paperwork, we can send a death certificate. 

Traveled, again, to north Wilmington for choir practice with The Associates, the home of Mary & Jack, near First Unitarian of Wilmington, a beautiful home (with a gorgeous Yamaha baby grand piano and artwork by one of their three boys, youngest 31, although they don't appear to be in their 60s) facing out onto a green area, just perfect for a pickup game of football or to walk the dog at present. I picked up retired kindergarten teacher Roberta Headley from her condominium home (a row of like structures) behind and to the right off Manor Care Nursing Home. We then drove to the lovely and bucolic place of Racheal VerNooy (a Dutch name meaning ??), who has a three-acre home that is contiguous with Ashland Nature Center (oh, by the way, it's the Red Clay Creek than meanders lovingly through the property). We came across deer as we drove the narrow roadway to her place. It truly is a lovely locale.

At the end of the rehearsal we gather and take hands and sing Spirit of Life. I sang holding the hands of Mary, the homeowner, and Margaret Love, our director, and feigned a bass part which sort of worked out but really didn't. I was under the singing radar with two accomplished musicians at my side.

18 February 2014: Tuesday ... Yoga w/Christine ... sunshine, warmer temp, snow melting ... calls to family on request to move in ... a haircut from Debbie ...

She has a trained voice that blended perfectly in harmony with her iPod songs, which were tuneful and so danceable -- we actually did a little dancing during some of the routines and stretching. 

1 February 2014: Saturday ... January is done, one of the coldest and snowiest on record and we await Punxatawney Phil's prediction of more/less winter ... Linda on the train to NY ... workout at "Y" ... call from Lynn Boley thanking me for the card ... beautiful day, warmer, the snow is melting ...

8 January 2014: Wednesday ... it's been a month since dad's passing ... Linda comes for a visit ... the hospital bed is "Nirvana" ... Mark & Sarah celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary ... Elvis Presley's birthday ...

"One month of an eternity gone, at least the portion that will take up my life, since the

snowy day my father passed. Days, weeks, months, years ... time is that ever-present

 marker and all we can do is wonder about that brown fur collar and how it matches, so

invitingly, the hair of a young mother. Thinking of you dad on this chill day with warm

thoughts."  My Facebook post this morning. 



So nice to have Linda Lucero come over to visit. She brought flowers and a radiating smile and mom truly enjoyed her visit this mid-morning, after her workout in the gym up by Hockessin. Yesterday, according to a rare FB post of hers, she enjoyed a Zumba class. I asked, rather amusingly, that we needed to see the video. Mom shares a lot with people she has just met and she did the same with Linda. She can be forthright with her questions -- how did your husband die? (he had frontal lobe dementia which went quickly and caused a lost of speech but he recognized his wife until the end -- he was a longtime professor of geology at University of Delaware.). 

22 November 2013: Friday ... the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas, TX; ... Dad starts on oxygenator in early morning (later have to re-plug into socket behind bed) ... mom's closet is upset, drugs displaced

This is a day that has been coming for a long time and now it is here and fifty years after coming home from Lora Little and informing my mom of the murder of a president, dad went on oxygen in the next level of his hospice care. It occurred early in the morning and I assisted him with the nasal cannula and switched on the device, which fired right up in a quiet but affirming manner. The oxygen flowed. Dad was calmed. 

President John F. Kennedy riding in motorcade with first lady Jacqueline Kennedy 
before he was shot in Dallas, Texas on Nov. 22, 1963. 
Texas Governor John Connally is in the front seat with his wife Nelly.

This is the day, November 22nd, 2013, fifty years ago on a Friday that the world changed for the United States. THE anniversary where everyone of the post-WWII generation remembers where they were if they are, let's say, reasonably, 55 years of age. I was in 2nd grade and mom says I came home, declared to her that the president had been shot and then we told dad. She says we went upstairs to watch Walter Cronkite take off his glasses and wipe his eyes after announcing the death of the President John F. Kennedy, killed by an assassin's bullet fired by Lee Harvey Oswald in Daley Plaza, Dallas, Texas, about 1 p.m. or 2 p.m. our time, which would correlate to my being released from school about that time.

Well, it's been an equally momentous day in the "ending" portion of my father's life as I awoke early morning of this 22nd day of November, 2013, to start him on the oxygenator that was brought in two days ago by Delaware Hospice or more specifically, a sub-contractor with DH, GlobalMedical. It happened without incident to a puzzled dad who wondered why we didn't use the tanks -- he'd been trying to figure out how to get the air started on one tank when I got up to his room. I told him that we needed the oxygen to flow continuously and not have to change tanks out every 4 or so hours. He seemed to comprehend, so I plugged it into the socket behind the TV, which I was to find out was a mistake. A few hours later, the machine was off and the plug pulled, so, he had to get out of the bed and I threaded the wire under the bed and plugged the oxygenator into the wall behind the bed. The wire is now covered by the bed and protected from being tripped or pulled out. At this writing, 6:50 a.m., he is resting. I'm going to let him rest till he calls me or by 7:30, I will check on him. Today, Doug leaves for Delaware on a one-stop trip (he'll stay over in Reidsville, NC, and head to Limestone Gardens early Saturday morning and arrive in all likelihood in the early afternoon of 11/23). Coincidentally, Marissa and the Finn family, on a visit to Philly for a bridal (?) shower, plans to stop by for a bit tomorrow morning, too. Missy will text me when they are in the area.

On a problematic note, the closet where I stored mom's pills in the 7-day container, was upset and items had fallen down. Mom says it fell on its own accord. I tend to doubt it, but the pills, once found, had not been disturbed. Nothing was removed, so she may be telling the truth. I think she is, possibly, but there is still some doubt in my mind. I have decided not to bring it up. I think dad is stirring so I go to check on him. 

He was and he was seated and the oxygenator was turned off. He is weak and later I find him back in the bed after getting his medications -- omeprazole, metoprolol, vicodin, tamazepam, and alprazelam (xanax); each one pill except for the vicodin or hydrocodone (2 pills) -- and I get him more water in his teacup. Later, I get him a glass of milk and his Cream of Wheat, which he looks to weak to eat (I try to feed him and he draws back complaining of its hotness and I decide to let him feed himself, I need to check on him as I type this at 8:35 a.m.).

I just feel so damn guilty about not writing ... granted, there are distractions, the most pressing being my parents' needs ... but, it escapes so quickly, those memories, and they are important, even though I may never return to them to reread what I have written. Today was a memorable day, an historic day and I spent it rather leisurely in the morning listening to the NPR programs, in particular WBUR's OnPoint with Tom Ashbrook, which was particularly outstanding with Robert McNeil of the McNeil-Lehrer NewsHour fame, who was an NBC reporter in the presidential news coverage in Dallas that day. He had an incredible story. He is such a gifted and well spoken and such a fine intellect, but his recollections were gripping about how he heard the shots, got out of the press bus and ran to Dealey Plaza and the grass hill (knoll), hopped a fence and looked out at railroad lines that were peopleless, so he went for a phone and ran to the Texas School Book Depository and asked a young man, running from the building, if there was a phone inside. He said to check (could that have been Oswald ... probably not, it was too long after the shooting, but ...). His reports were some of the first on TV from the scene of the assassination. A few days later, on that grassy knoll, doing a story on the memorials set up for the president, he heard the sound of a bag pipe band and he broke down in tears. Like JFK, McNeil had two young children and had recently moved from England where he'd worked as a journalist. He is a native Canadian.

Later in the day, I made a trip to the Christiana Mall, which is always an adventure as the driving and roads around the mall are just a maelstrom, total disarray. Inside, Barnes & Noble is a huge and wonderful store. Found presents for Sean (a sports 2014 calendar) and Mia (The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, an old but wonderful literary gift) and a 6-sided cube art puzzle for mom. After the bookstore, I traveled through this orgy of capitalism, so many stores, so much glitz in this mall, to Macy's (mostly fashion and jewelry and personal care products, not electric razors) and then Target, where I hit a bonanza. Found a Norelco that said it was on sale, went to the checkout lane, where the employee said she worked 8 hours but spent time out on the store aisles, which she enjoyed, her name, I think was Taylor, but she rang up a total of over $94. I balked. The price was checked and the young black manager came back to say the price was misplaced but to give me the sale price of $56 and I got a better razor for less. Does not hurt to complain about a price.

At home, where I'd left my phone, mom and dad were lying in her bed and she'd called me as well as Marli. Dad mentioned that he'd received a few phone calls from a clothing store, but I called our Dutch angel back and she said she was coming over with Gerrit with a noodle dish. 

19 October 2013: Saturday as Bach Double is playing downstairs with Dad listening to Oistrakh record, salad/carrot to Mom for bfast joke ...

Today is Chris Senge's 39th birthday,

 
in reality, according to the Bible of Facebook.

Jackie Calmes, NY Times White House reporter and fox.

Made a FB post of the words below and a link to Washington Week in Review. 

Jackie Calmes, liberal-leaning NY Times' journalist who appeared on Washington Week in Review with Gwen Ifill last night as I watched the program with Dancer in the middle and mom on the right, goes back to Tom Foley days in 1994, when the then Speaker of the House, for 5 years and a 30-year veteran of the House from Washington, was unceremoniously voted out of office. Amazing facilitator who had regular meetings with the minority leader and they even exchanged offices during the week. Talk about bipartisanship. We may never see that again. The people are the lesser.

Dad is sleeping and snoring, blissfully and thankfully, as I maraud over FB sending off friend requests to people associated with UUSMC and listen to the audio classical cable channel and the English Concert Orchestra conducted by the longtime collaborator and husband of Joan Sutherland, Richard Bonynge. 

LEWISBURG, Pa. — World renowned chamber orchestra The English Concert will perform on Friday, Feb. 22, at 8 p.m. at the Weis Center for the Performing Arts at Bucknell University. There will be a pre-performance talk with artistic director Harry Bicket at 7:20 p.m. in the Weis Center Lobby.

Australian conductor and pianist, Richard Bonynge, with Dame Joan Sutherland, his wife.

He continues to sleep, oh what a gift, as the music plays and I have researched, through the Kelly Blue Book web site, a price for my Dodge Neon. It looks promising but I won't print while dad sleeps that would be mean. Did have a meaningful exchange on FB with Frank McPherson, the brilliant digital entrepreneur who has been hired by Apple and will move, unfortunately, his beautiful family of wife and three children, all stalwarts in the UUAC religious education wing, and head West. He wrote: 

Rudy,

I appreciate your invitation to your going away dinner yesterday. I apologize I was unable to attend as I was on the way back from a job interview in Cupertino. Best of luck in Delaware, Frank.

Thank you Frank for your kind wish and hope the interview went well. I've heard of Cupertino.

about an hour ago

I don't like this "driving out west" talk Frank. It means, unfortunately, that you are taking your incredible family, I presume, with you. Augusta UU Church is going to miss you terribly. In safe and wonderful journeying,

rudy

9:02am

Thank you, Rudy! We are sad to be leaving Augusta, but excited about the journey and the opportunities waiting for us. Cheers,

Frank

You are so welcome Frank ... happy travels and wherever you wind up, that place and those people will be greatly rewarded by your presence. Be safe and be loved, rudy

Chat Conversation End

Seen 9:04am

Won the bet, sort of, with dad. (It was for $5 and I didn't collect but he did come out

and view the results, dispassionately, nice to see him outside, he was frail and walk

carefully). He was doubtful that the Toro leaf mulcher would work on the entire

yard. Well, I didn't do the whole yard but I did finish the gutters and deposited some

nice mulch, about 8 bagfuls around the yard. It's quite a machine once I got

Home Depot to help me to separate a part and get the thing working. The manager,

with gorilla arms, took it apart for me. 

Guess I got the red version. 

The dinner at the Cronin's house on Charleston Drive went splendidly. The cheese dip, courtesy of Norma Clara Nyhoff, was a big success and the 9 of us had a wonderful dinner (Judy and Dick Cronin, Frank MacArtor, Jeanne and Brian Hanson, Judy and Tom - ? - Pappenhagen, and Anne - ??). Just a lovely evening of spirited and engaging conversation.