Showing posts with label chill. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chill. Show all posts

Thursday, March 27, 2014

27 March 2014: Thursday ... spreading ice pattern on a freezing morning car windshield ... Carla and her 3 sisters chattering, Body Pump fill-in for Jennifer ... Body Vive motion poetry with Pamela ... selfie with Sandy Tilford ... yoga video sent to Gwen, hopefully onto Christine ... tax papers to Tom Szewczyk good to go ...

Jane Goodall holds a baby Cebus capucinus monkey during a 2013 visit to a primate rescue center in Chile.
An early celebration of Jane Goodall's 80th birthday, which will be on April 3rd, was a story on the npr.org web site.

Once again, rather than taking the time and persisting and showing grit, I abandoned this page last night for bed and other activities that do not benefit my being or what I believe is my essence, so, I am left to recall, a little more hazily, the events that marked the 27th day of March in the year 2014.

A frozen windshield and a spray of washer fluid led to an amazing spread of ice crystals in an intricate pattern, billions of years old, in front of me and lasted for the entire trip to the Y until the front visage of the Honda began to warm and the glass cleared. It was a majesty of joining and merging that truly expressed beauty of nature. 

Carla is a kick in the pants instructor whose constant chatter and energizing attitude is infectious. She is constantly up and spoke about her need to talk, incessantly. We were four sisters, she said, so maybe she couldn't get a word in edge wise. Well, she is an inveterate participant in Body Pump and really pushes herself and thus, her begrudging patrons. It was a good workout.

Pamela led a class of poetic movement to matching rhythmic music in Body Vive. She is a wonderful instructor and does all the movements while reciting them just prior to execution. Just amazing. I followed my friend Heidi, the one with the "feet" sneakers who I find delightful in her enthusiasm for these classes. And she is so good, does all the moves flawlessly and seamlessly. It was also a good workout and myself, and the two other middle aged (they were a bit older and probably retired, really) men in the class (for a whopping total of 3) got to watch the synchrony of the women, who truly demonstrate why they need to run the world and not men. They'd be far more effective.

Drove past a sweeping Eleanor Hyde on her sidewalk and was stopped by a van blocking my way on Pickwick in front of the park. Thought I'd be late to my appointment with Tom Szewczyk, so I moved on but then had to back up and took the time to speak to this lovely woman, who is managing and who tells me that her husband, Ernie, is doing better than her. She made a point to tell me that she'd sent a contribution into the web site that had dad's obit and testimonials, et al., and I said that I'd check to see that it went through. Don't know where to go on the web but will see. Feel sure that it succeeded. Turned up McCawber to Cratchett and then to Milltown and made the appointment right on time at 1:30. Greeted by Chris, who showed me into the waiting room and Tom appeared momentarily. They are wonderful people. Chris' mom is in an expensive nursing home in Florida, cheaper than up here, and she and her sisters are working with the financing. It is challenging for a family. 

I really like Thomas "Tom" A. Szewczyk, CPA , who I had an appointment with today, just a day short from when dad last appeared in his office a year ago and told him that he would not be back the following year due to his diagnosis. He told me that in his own words. Well, he's just an amazing guy and so personable. Loved sports growing and played baseball and does golf now. Fortunately, he's had no joint issues and thus no surgeries like knee or hip replacements. He can still walk the golf course. He showed me a Spring Training Phillies cap that his brother, retired CPA in Florida, sent him. Tom use to work for the IRS, where they treated him professionally, but took over his brother's business and bought out the other CPA. Well, we got to the business at hand and thanks to mom, he got all the information he needs for the taxes and they are set to be completed in the coming weeks. They will busy for him. He did relate a wonderful story of taking his mother, late in her life, to Orlando and how she loved the flight and demanded a window seat. She had the time of her life, he said. I concurred that moments like that are true treasures to keep and to hold, much like the writings our parents have penned. Tom has the 8th grade graduation certificate from his grandfather (?) on the wall dated 1929. 


Thursday, March 13, 2014

13 March 2014: Thursday ... Aunt Carol's birthday (she would have been 84 today ... "What is it?") ...

Just remembered and shared with mom the iconic phrase that was Aunt Carol's, whose birthday is today (she'd have been 84 today), and it is: WHAT IS IT? ... I can hear her voice now, that incredible sense of humor she possessed and shared with so many, it is a legacy that is profound and meaningful to the memory and being of those who loved her. 

Called Liz and as I was talking to her the doorbell rang and Julie, the PRN nurse from Hospice, who has seen my parents a handful of times and always is attentive and helpful and thorough and totally professional, was there and we began to immediately talk about the patient, my mom and I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT LIZ WAS ON THE PHONE. Later, when she was talking to mom, I apologized effusively and she understood as she heard me talking to Julie over the phone and knew that I was involved and just hung up.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

4 March 2014: Tuesday ... double digits, barely this AM, at 10 degrees ... water bowl frozen solid ... comfy indoors at 70, too warm ... text from NV last night ...

I just hate it when I get behind (and it happens so fast, even on a daily basis) and then forget some of the more seminal, important moments in the day. As I write this down, two days later, after experiencing an extraordinary day where I worked out twice, gave blood and took Body Attack with my favorite witness instructor, Renee, after giving a pint to the Blood Bank of Delmarva (where I'm now a member) and doing fine, suffering no bouts of dizziness or lack of strength, but having the delightful opportunity to have an extended conversation with a beautiful person and excellent instructor and seeing her gorgeous, youngest child (she has 3), her only daughter (two older boys), come run up to her and plead with her ... "Mommy" ... and tug on her arm ... well, to get back to the start of this sentence, I CANNOT REMEMBER THE KEY EVENTS OF THIS DAY, TUESDAY, THE 4TH OF MARCH, 2014. It's the law of diminished brain cells.

Like I discussed with Renee, we need to be reminded, several times, before events lodge for longer than a day in our minds. The events of a day are each singular and do not afford the opportunity of refreshing, UNLESS one writes it down in the moment. I have failed to do it on this day and thus, key experiences have been lost into that nether world of neuronal connections, the countless miles of synapses in one's brain, where a memory lodged is waiting for a trigger to bring it rushing forth again.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

25 December 2013: Christmas Day ... clear and cold, ice in Dancer's water bowl ... the luminaria bags are collected; sand trashed, bags recycled, candles kept ...



Kind of a cool image, I wrote: Thought it was frozen solid but just a layer had formed 
on Dancer's water bowl this frosty Christmas morn.

It's difficult to come to this digital page and compose at the end of the day for you forget the memorable moments of a day, even a Christmas day, when it's just the two of you and phone calls from Lindsay and Liz and Gail and Nick and sharing with Susan about a book by Elizabeth Gilbert, who you friend on FB because she loves the social media (you heard her interview on WHYY with Marty Moss-Coane (had no idea how to spell it), who is the author of mega-best seller Eat, Pray, Love and who has written a book, I thought she would be interested in and which I sent her a New York Times review by Janet Maslin called The Signature of All Things, which I offered to get for her but have not heard
back. I friended her on FB and wrote a wry comment about a photo she posted of her in 1976 at age 7, yes, she was born in 1969 on a tree farm and her sister is a well-known author, too. Splendid, creative childhood with parents who nurtured their true artistic selves.


Yes, I an enamored. She is lovely and so talented and intellectual. 


Went to Snapfish and uploaded pics of the Finn Family to give back to them what they gave to us, two lovely printed photos. Still have to figure out how to get a assemblage of maybe 4 photos in one display to send to them. I will do it. 



On Christmas Eve, when I found a Nintendo Wii, thanks to Muhammad at Best Buy, the handsome close-cropped bearded young man, and I ate my usual veggie omelet at Mary's Kountry Kitchen and go to share dad's passing with Mary, at the cash register, and Shelley, serving but not me on this day, I did not find something for Stacy. I had wanted to. 

Well, this evening, it hit me. Get her something personal. A photograph. One that we have displayed for years in its frame ... dad and mom laughing and enjoying a moment at a meal at Cindy's wedding reception from some 30 years ago, now that's personal and meaningful. So, I wrapped it and combined it with a Christmas card that I'd written earlier, left a message on her home phone (she was at work tonight, doing the holiday as it was her turn) and placed the present and card in her mailbox. Afterward, when I'd finished my 2 miles plus walk with Dancer, I phoned her cell and she answered at the hospital. She did seem put out but anxious that I called. She thought something might be up with mom. I told her about mom being placed on Hospice and then about looking in her mailbox ... she closed by calling me "Ru". Nobody but my mother has ever called me by that shortened version of my name. Got a curious pang in me about Stacy. No, it will never be but I have a strong feeling of like/love for her and what she's done for my mother, specifically, and my father, too. She has been an extraordinary neighbor and she is an extraordinarily beautiful person. 

What am I truly thankful for on this Christmas Day 2013:
  1. Being able to spend Christmas with my mother for perhaps the last time.
  2. Having friends like Marli and Gerrit Stam who really enjoy spending time with us and are just terrific.
  3. Family like Marissa Finn who can give gifts that touch the core of our being.
  4. Being able to share a part of your life with another in the form of a treasured photo that you feel is a proper way to say "Thank You" for all you do Stacy Casaletto.
  5. Understand that when mom calls to answer that call without anger and show only love because we only have one shot at this thing called life, as Gordon Roth, my bass compatriot in the UUSMC choir so eloquently put it last evening.
  6. The genius of David Attenborough and his animal films. Just finished watching the World of Mammals on Netflix tonight. Just extraordinary commentary and stunning photography. 

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

11 December 2013: Wednesday ... the date his obituary ran in The News Journal (it got great play on B10 in the corner) ...



                                                              Rudolph Nyhoff, MD

                                                               AGE: 85 • Wilmington

Passed away peacefully at home with family at his bedside on a beautiful snowy Sunday afternoon, December 8, 2013. He was 85 years of age and died from lung cancer. ...
It is a cold, chilly morning but the sun is rising, the sky is clear and it is absolutely gorgeous. Life does move forward dad, but I know you would have loved to still be here enjoying it. You loved life and shook your fist at having to depart it. Rest in peace, your spirit lives on.
Rudolph Nyhoff M.D.
The Guest Book will remain active online until January 10, 2014.

 
http://www.legacy.com/guestbooks/delawareonline/guestbook.aspx?n=rudolph-nyhoff&pid=168461501&view=2&entry=79104270&referrer=1#sthash.rwYiU6cL.ZSL1BVSi.dpbs

The sunlight is beginning to suffuse the cloth blinds to dad's room (7:30 a.m.) and perhaps it's his spirit saying goodbye and that everything will be OK as time moves forward as it must. Light will continue to shine and beauty will always be present. 

Breakfast at Crossroads on a chilled day, the place was sparsely filled. He had the Big Breakfast #2 and I had the French Grand plate or something like that -- French toast with scrambled eggs and sausage. I paid for the check this time, a rarity when I go out with Doug or maybe it's never happened, but with the money that he took from dad's wallet and gave to me last night. Thought it appropriate. He was there with us.


After breakfast we went to Home Depot and returned the too-large boxes for packing up dad's old medical books from the library. Doug got smaller and back home we started in on the packing in earnest, thanks to my bro's enthusiasm. At least 4 boxes were filled. Kept out the Dutch ones and he kept some personal books for his. Afterward, we restocked the empty shelves with other books, some from his room and the shelf at the end of the hallway. It was a day to get things in order and we got a good start on it, thanks to his initiative.


He painted the heating coil covers along the floor of the bathroom and worked on the toilet, later I cleaned the floor after earlier vacuuming mom's room, with her help (she picked up the rug and her feet to allow the unit to pass under her, it was an effort on her part). We got a lot done today.


Got the opportunity to send in, after talking to Lucy Mealey (lmealey123@comcast.net), who is not the wife of Chick but his sister (Lori is the RN and wife of Chick), a couple of edits to the obituary, which will run again tomorrow in the News-Journal, against the better judgment of my brother, who opposed any additions. They were: 

   Edit #1: “
and India, where they rode on elephants.”
 
Edit #2: “
his great-nephews Dana and Brett Ouellette and Luke and Marcus Jones.”

India is the original homeland of the 
Asiatic elephant


Doug took it upon himself to head to his favorite store in town, Home Depot, and purchase some black paint and touch-up the railing, which in the past, had been done by mom prior to her lavish Christmas parties.Displaying photo.JPG

Later this early afternoon, after Olla Rudawski, 92, called for mom, I caught Dancer dosing on her favorite place in the whole house, her vantage to the goings-on in the living room and the front door:


Commenting on a post from Marli, I wrote:"She is so lazy Marli. Just loves to sack out.
She's absolutely no help around the house. And she doesn't even pay rent. Time to think eviction.

Out of here if she continues her lethargic ways. NOT! (She knows it, too.)"
The first Christmas card to my parents arrived today from Kaye & Alan Ramsey, she was


 the longtime RN who worked with dad at the Employee Health Clinic for years. I have


written a Xmas card back to them at their nearby address:


5426 Pinehurst Drive;


 Wilmington, DE, 19808-2619
.


  
Memorial Hospital, Wilmington, Delaware, 1941. Originally the Homeopathic Hospital, Memorial Hospital was demolished in 1985. It was where the Park Plaza condominiums are on Van Buren Street. This photo is taken at the corner of Van Buren and Lovering.

Memorial Hospital, Wilmington, Delaware, 1941. Originally the Homeopathic Hospital, Memorial Hospital was demolished in 1985. It was where the Park Plaza condominiums are on Van Buren Street. This photo is taken at the corner of Van Buren and Lovering.http://www.pinterest.com/pin/270145677619016392/


Just heard from Jim Garvey on Facebook and responded to his kind words ("Just saw this, Rudy. i wish you peace. You have done your dad proud.") with this message: Thank you Jim. I have some very special, irreplaceable memories of my last months with my father. It was truly an honor to care for him, foe he was a proud and independent man. I am so invigorated and inspired by his struggle. He was so strong and reliant. Thank you for your words my dear friend. Miss your presence in the physical sense (600 miles is a long way) but feel it, regardless, in the spiritual realm. You are in my heart Jim.

Here are the first entries to the online Guest Book featured on the News Journal's obituary

link, legacy.com :

December 11, 2013
Rudy, thank you for sharing about your dad. I didn't know all this about him. It sounds like you all had some exciting traveling life. May he rest in peace and the Lord be with you and yours.
December 11, 2013
Truly the best doctor I have ever known. His wry sense of humor made our doctor visits enjoyable for both me and my Mom. Between his constant humming of classical tunes and telling us that we didn't look sick but what did he know, he made us happy/laugh even when we were sick. I also hold him very close to my heart, as he was there for me when my Mom passed in February, 2011. Forever will you be cherished and missed, Dr. Nyhoff. Love and prayers to the Nyhoff family.
December 11, 2013
The Breckenridge family was with Dr Nyhoff since he began
practice in Wilmington. He was an excellent doctor and
good friend.
Betsy Breckenridge
December 11, 2013
May the good Doctor rest in Peace.
A good man, with a wry sense of humor.



On my walk tonight, phoned Eleanor Hyde as I walked past her and husband Ernie's home on Pickwick Drive, a few houses down from ours. She was touched by the news of dad's death and as a caregiver herself was quite empathetic to my situation. She has been caring for her ailing husband a long time, but is so glad that he is back home. He's much happier and is taking far less medication. I told her how happy I was that dad got to die at home and never went to the hospital. NO heroic efforts. He ended it where he wanted to. He died contentedly. On an interesting aside, the DigiFit app sounded a mile when I came up on her house as I reached the intersection of McCawber and Pickwick, her house directly in front of mine. Did not conclude the conversation until I was on Kingsgate Lane.
 

At home, looked forward to the Flyers/Blackhawks game and Philly led 1-0 after one period. After two, they were down 5-2 and at the start of the 3rd, Chicago scored quickly to make it 6-2 and I called it quits. Just too fast and too good shooting on the part of the Stanley Cup Champions. Flyers started well but fell apart in the second. No chance in catching up but I'll turn it back on before heading to bed. It's now 10:36 p.m. 

This has been a memorable day.

What have I been thankful for today?
  1. Having the obituary of my dad run in a great spot in the paper and to read pretty well and be liked by a number of people including Jim Garvey. 
  2. Getting to talk with Eleanor Hyde, who found dad a great doctor, on my walk.
  3. Seeing and working with Doug on packing up dad's old medical books and reshaping the look of my room/library.
  4. Photographing a dosing Dancer in her favorite spot in the whole house and posting it on Facebook.
  5. To read the laudatory comments of dad on the Guest Page of the obituary link on legacy.com.
  6. To be able to work steadily to get the house ready for this Saturday's reception after the visitation.
  7. To learn that Susan and Lindsay will be staying at the Red Roof Inn for two nights and Nick will stay with me.
  8. Making the section to have dinner Saturday night at the Hardefeldt Country Club for the family (Susan, Lindsay, Nick, Norma, Norma Virginia, Doug, Uncle Nick, and ???).  

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

8 October, 2013: Wednesday, JDHS on a cool, foggy morning walk with Dancer ...

The picture below came from Steamin' Days at the Marshall Steam Museum in Yorklyn, Delaware, which is near Hockessin. These are miniature steam engine trains which moves visitors around the property.
The museum has one of the largest collection of Stanley Steamer automobiles. Got there thanks to Goose's sister Kathy, a volunteer ticket taker, who offered up two free tickets.











John Dickinson in the early morning chill and fog on a walk with Dancer. We walked and I did about four middle-aged jogs to amount to little over 3 miles. Posted this on FB. 

The Words for the poem and the link to Heifetz 

playing "Beau Soir". 

poem by Paul Bourget


When the rivulets are rosy in the setting sun,
And a mild tremor runs over the wheat fields,
An exhortation to be happy seems to emanate from things
And rises towards the troubled heart.
An exhortation to enjoy the charm of being alive
While one is young and the evening is beautiful,
For we are going on, as this stream goes on:
The stream to the sea, we to the grave.

Above is link to YouTube video that I took of mom walking the hallway backed up by Nick, before he left for Philly. Today was momentous as I woke very early (shortly after 2 a.m.) and stayed up to do piddly things like sort my e-mail in my iPhone and read the amazing start of "How We Die" by the doctor who won a National Book Award.

But dad is having rougher days. I did all the meals today from breakfast to lunch and then heated up dinner for mom and made a cheese/tomato/ham melt for dad, who ate only half of it. Much more needs to be written as I went to Pathmark to food shop (Terry helped me out by showing me where the Pam was and a microwaveable bowl for the carrots that tasted so sweet), I heard a melancholy, beautiful melody and thought of dad and the tears, which will be abundant in the months ahead, began to flow. Such is the power of music. NPR had a segment on the upcoming 200th bday of Verdi and dad and I listened to it, dad asking me the opera that played a segment of on the program. It was La Traviata, I think, but dad is full of knowledge and he is sharing it with me and it is a true gift, maybe that's why the tears came because that will be gone and I will miss it, like Bob missed the opportunity to tell his mom that she was terminally ill. We had a long talk today on the phone and it was good to hear his voice and to make plans, at least plan to make plans, to get together. He sent me his more useful e-mail and I changed it in my Google address book. 

More needs to be added but the dog needs walking around the big block and Nick is moving toward a dinner date with John, who has a lesson at 7 p.m., at Monk's in Philly. He'll be back late but feels confident in his GPS to make his way home. I'm not worried but I'll be up till he gets home. Watch a Frontline piece on the concussion-related syndrome linked to the NFL tonight. It is two hours and runs from 9-11 p.m. Dad will be asleep but mom will be up and I can watch it on the flat screen, HDTV.