16 March 2015 ... my first entry? of the new year (come on) ... Liz' arrival ... meet the neighbor, Chris, finally ... call U of D parking authority, Wells Fargo debit card ...

So, here goes, after literally months of avoidance, I return to this blog and attempt, the day after, to begin a healthy process of recollection on a single day's activities, to gain some sort of perspective on this all-to-short human life. As I write this on St. Patrick's Day of 2015, a bright overcast day that will rise into the low 60s and as the grass has received a dosed of pre-emergent fertilizer from Nick, who knows Dancer and is greeted by her in the backyard as he takes the machine in rows and my darling

                                                   
                                                              Not Nick, not the front
                                                       yard and not the machine used.

therapy dog is not fearful, only attendant and loving as always, I know that this is a start, like my horoscope spoke of, a way to break out of the morass of inaction (Christine Shaw leads yoga at the YMCA as I type this and I am not there, again, to enjoy her healthy, physical pedagogy and spiritual enlightenment and to tell her how much I enjoyed the Delaware Symphony Concert where her group sang the accompaniment to opera selections ... loved her "Toreador"). 

At long last, I made the trip across the street and introduced myself to the "new" neighbor who moved in at the end of last year, yes, that's right, over 3 months ago. His name is Bill and he is the son of a DHS grad of '75, Cherie (?) Smith, who grew up in Limestone Acres. His wife -- this is 2nd marriage for both of them -- is Nicole and she is due in April with their first child, a boy, but he has a son from his previous marriage, a boy who has cerebral palsy and is wheelchair-bound and will start school next year. The ebullient, singing child in the front yard, on occasion, is Avah, and their loving dog (name I can't recall). She came over and asked to ride her bike around the block. She is forthright, outgoing and just a dear.

29 July 2014: Tuesday ... Mom's 83rd birthday ... Christine's lesson of patience in yoga ... Nick's call ... NV's call ... Uncle Nick's call ... flowers from Acme ... a herd of deer by JDHS

The array of flowers and cards for Mom's birthday.


Mom poses behind orchids sent by Doug. 

It is so easy to break out of a routine and settle back into lethargy and renew that sense of incompetence. Yet, to learn patience -- represented so aptly by breathing in yoga and the focus of Christine's class this morning -- is to be able to take the time, each day, to do a little of a variety of activities that activate the mind and spirit, much like this writing, just a few minutes, after a much needed walk around JDHS and a circle of the quarter mile on the track with Dancer outside of the fence and not inside the track and the football field, where we marched over 40 years ago and sat in the stands playing our fight songs for the team. 

9 May 2014: Friday ... Mt. Cuba Center lunch break w/Katia ... Liz & Frank's Mother's Day flowers ... English yew w/docent Dick Cloud ...

Mom gives Liz a Thank You call for the flowers in the background.

An English Yew plant is a beautiful growth. There are two at Mt. Cuba, anniversary gifts to the Copelands from some 80 years ago. They are youngsters but are huge. Our docent guide, Dick Cloud, said they live 100s of years and were used by individuals to fashion strong and long bows for launching arrows. Hard to imagine as the plant's limbs are twisted and short but some have length, so, with age, I imagine, there could be large enough boughs to work up a weapon the height of a 6-foot person.

This English yew is a lot larger than the one at Mt. Cuba.

3 March 2014: Monday ... the snow has stopped after about 6" or so since early this morning ... Steve and his bassets Kirby & Harriet just plowed past goin' up Nicholby ... Dancer is sacked out in the TV room floor ...

She was leash-less today and although it brought me
pause, she returned without incident and really enjoyed
herself in the 6-8 inch snow fall today.

Addendum (4/4/14): Thought of Steve and Annie and their bassets, Kirby and Harriet, during our walk tonight, a slightly chill evening that prompted a jacket and no more and a walk of just under 2 and 1/2 miles, as I took Dancer along Milltown Park's creek. I wonder and hope that Annie has recovered from her knee injury that prompted solo walks with basset duo by Steve.

Addendum (3/23/15): The hermit emerged (that would be me) from the house just as Annie walked up with Kirby, one of her and her husband Steve's two Bassett Hounds, the other being a slightly cantankerous Kirby, held by Steve, as I started to put up the plastic doors that arrived from Amazon (paid for by my cousin Liz ... need to let her know the they're up ... her birthday is the 26th this week, Thursday, and she'll turn 64).

Addendum (6/11/16): Coming from Maplecrest on our bikes, Peg and I saw Steve and Annie walking Kirby (Annie's leash) and Harriet (Steve's) at the park in Sheridan Square. They're such dear animals, perfectly named, and the abused one, used as bait (teeth filed down) for a dog fighting ring, Harriet, was quite affectionate and did not growl once. She even rolled over for Peg as she pet her. So nice to run into the two of them with their canine charges on a beautiful summer evening.

11 November 2013: Veterans' Day dawned clear and pretty warm ... it has been a good day with dad and Liz's first full day of her visit, good to have her here as she keeps mom ...

On a Veterans' Day early afternoon, Liz has a conversation with her beloved uncle,
who just learned today that he will be tapered off the prednisone being used to treat
his SVC Syndrome after talking with Dr. Grubbs' office. 

Today has been illustrative of better communication. Rather than go ahead and contact Dr. Maged about getting nursing assistance for mom, I spoke to dad and he said to wait (for what reason I do not know) until he spoke with Dr. Grubb's office. Well, he did talk to them and he did allow me to call Dr. Maged's office and speak to his nurse and get the ball rolling regarding care ... probably contact Manor Care service as they worked with mom before. I feel a need to be insistent as dad protests my going too fast. But what's too fast, we have such little time, but it worked out and hopefully things will move forward and we'll get help for mom to bathe.

Got a call and called back the social worker with Delaware Hospice, Linda Wills, Social Worker, who made an appointment for this Wednesday at 2:30 - 3:00 to be here at the home and discuss the options available. She is the one that suggested I call Dr. Maged because DE Hospice cannot provide nursing care for mom as she is not a patient of the service.

Last night dad made some drink/food requests that were interesting. He want Ginger Ale and smoked salmon and I got him some sugar-free chocolate covered vanilla ice creams. He ate one last night and he had another this afternoon at my suggestion as we listened to another singer I'd never heard of, August Seider (lovely tenor voice singing a variety of operatic roles on a 2-record set). 

Great to see him eat. 

He is eating more as I type out this note at 6:01 p.m., the NewsHour is about to start, and he is adding yogurt/mandarin oranges to the roast beef sandwich (with a little mustard) he finished earlier. He has completed it all. Perhaps it's due to the corticosteroid he's taking, at least for three more days.

Today has been confrontational. I got a call from Dr. Maged and he suggested a service Home Instead Senior Care, which I called and spoke to a, for real, Bob Bird, who arranged for a visit this Wednesday. Mom exploded when I told her and focused on the cost, which she would not pay and the fact that she did not need help to bathe. Well, thanks to dad's patience and Liz's help, she calmed and she may not need this help yet, but why not meet with this service and get an idea of what is available.

Dan from the RTA Home Medical Equipment company arrived as night fell to check and replace three of the oxygen tanks. He also mentioned that the oxygenator was too loud and also needed replacement. That will happen in the coming days and he also showed me the filter in the back that needs washing out at least once a week. I have never done it. We did the task in the bathroom sink and it was quite dirty. He had three more stops tonight before heading home. The office is located in Chadds Ford, PA.

Is it lonely dying? He locks the screen door at the front and earlier wandered where the CD box was for the Emerson Quartet performance of the Bartok quartets. He is detail oriented and this is how it has always been done (he has now arrived in the TV and asks me to go get some water in his cup because he is out of breath and is shaky, so shaky ... he mentions the mailbox and no mail and then remembers that it is Veterans Day today and thus no mail service). Dad also asked for his regular buttermilk with four, count 'em, Splenda. He is now watching Antiques Roadshow and Cecil Stoughton, the White House photographer who took the iconic image and only photo of the LBJ getting the oath of office on the jet with a blood-stained dress wearing Jackie Kennedy. 

I hope he gets some rest tonight. As Dr. Maged said today, he will sleep when he needs it, but he needs it tonight and I hope he gets it. 

Had to include this priceless image of Bethany Smith, yoga teacher, and her daughter.

"My little nugget isn't feeling well today. Praying its not a virus! #Naptime"

10 November 2013: Sunday ... listening to the mellifluous founder/host of loe.org, Steve Curwood, as the teapot boils ...

What a morning at Paper Mill Park where I walked the pathway around the park because I was early and we did not have choir rehearsal this morning. The day was brilliant and I thought, when I was hanging from this bar and seeing my shadow, what a nice picture it would make. So, I got down and waved, hid the iPhone and snapped and sent it to Facebook before I continued my walk. Just amazing, wonderful technology.

Then, we were treated to a magical, engaging, fun-loving, singing, stomping and spirit-lifting service by Clem Bowen, storyteller, musician, pantomimist and trained clown.

What a wonderful service at UUSMC this morning followed by a great potluck highlighted by Randy's incredible split-pea soup with ham and potatoes and pasta, which he gave away with special plastic containers and which I took and shared with my parents when I got home. They loved it, too. Just an incredible gift of this cook, who is a CIA graduate, not the spy agency but the Culinary Institute of America.

He strummed this dulcimer made for him by a instrument maker in Newark. It was simple and his songs had just a few word lyrics but we sang robustly and enthusiastically about peace (Shalom) and about a fox and his home. Magical interaction ... what a talent. 

My candle had four parts to it ... beginning with a shout out to Andy Levin, who played and sang for us and who sang a lovely song that I thought was a nice gesture to his granddaughter, a baby, visiting the church for the first time; the performance of Serafin last Sunday afternoon; the performance and help of Delaware Hospice regarding my mother and assisting my father; and the safe arrival of Liz, my cousin, who was travelling to Delaware from Connecticut as I spoke my joys. 

One individual, who I found quite attractive and had an empathy to match her beauty, lit a candle for the victims of the typhoon. She is a meteorologist and she works a lot in the RE wing of the church (today's service was intergenerational) and she was very knowledgeable of the storm in the South Pacific and she mentioned her husband, a printer, who does the shopping and the cooking while she does the laundry and the cleaning, quite a gender neutral household. Her name is Terri.

Addendum: Before bed, I sort through the records on the shelf in his TV bedroom and I pull them out and fire questions at him. MY gracious, does he know his records, spouting out facts on the performers and the words in a rapid pace. No mental loss here. I am astounded that he knows so much ... where have I been? Why have I not been questioning him and learning from his vast store of classical music knowledge. It is awesome.

On my walk, I have a unique exchange with Doug, who I called after trying to talk in the morning as I walked Paper Mill Park and he walked the fairway at Atlanta Athletic Club. Like a kid, he told me of a dining experience the previous evening at an exclusive steak place, very expensive, with a gazillionaire patient who was hosting him and a couple of his friends. He asked whether his date, a former beauty pageant winner from Hawaii all buxom and curvy and wearing threadbare clothing went on to drink more than a few Cosmopolitans and spout her bisexuality and the food came and the hors d'oeuvres and the wine and the bill, believe it or not, was at least a $1,000, all picked up by the wealthy patient, who eats at this establishment about five times a week. Go figure.  

5 November 2013: Tuesday,

• 

  7:55am
  

  Joseph O'Hara
  

  
  

  hello Rudy! Just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are for taking care of your parents. That's God's work for sure. Jamie and I were speaking the other day and we agreed you might be the nicest man on earth. you are a good man!

  God Bless You!
• 

  8:01am
  

  Rudy Nyhoff

  You are so incredibly kind Joe, but the superlative might be going a bit too far. I'm a nice guy and what I'm doing is worthwhile but it is also so necessary. I really have no choice but in having no choice, believe it or not, I have been granted great liberty and thus great joy in taking care of my parents.

  I appreciate your reference to god and I use the lower case not in disrespect but to let you know that as a humanist -- an agnostic, atheist, whatever you want to label me -- my belief system is set within human interaction and compassion and love. In no way do I discount or look down upon theistic systems of belief, but I look at life and its meaning from a different perspective. It is my heartfelt belief, though, that in the end, our belief systems come to the same result and that is the care and loving of those who have loved and cared for us.

  Thank you again for you and Jamie are just wonderful people and it is a great honor to call you my friends.

  In loving humankindness, rudy

  After a Day Break ... A Dancer Photo on 11/5/13

  Just-behind-the-ears pet by my neighbor Chris puts Dancer into a relaxed pose. She just loves attention.

  
  

  We got Delaware Hospice at the right time. Dad is having it rough. He is getting more confused and he's coughing more sputum and his demeanor is just less positive. He still asks about mom and just said "nothing serious" after I went down to the bathroom upon mom's call and got her the dress that she'd laid out on the bed and handed to her in the bathroom (carefully covering up any view of my mother's body from the bath ... in the words of Schultz ... "I (saw) nothing."
  
  But now I hear the lawnmowers working and they'll be in and out in 20 minutes.

  
  

  Called Dr. Grubb's office and left a message for his triage nurse, Michele Glick, and she got back to me, not long after I'd spoken to Liz and then to Robert Leroy Jones. She left a message and I phoned her right back and actually spoke to her. She is quite a nice person. The doctor ordered prednisone for dad and phoned in the prescription to Pathmark Pharmacy. I took a short nap and then told dad, who was little taken aback that I hadn't told him earlier but he forgave me and I went on a few errands that included the pharmacy, where the Indian (?) pharmacist, Darya (?), who works with Ed, actually went out into the store aisles and tracked down the iron supplement that I needed, Fergon. So nice of her. I then paid, using my new debit card for the first time, really, and the old/new PIN number that I'd just changed at the Wells Fargo up Limestone Road by banker Christine Pinnock. I also deposited, for the first time, a check into our joint checking account, actually dad's, which was the refund from the car insurance that was sent to us when I was placed on the policy ($322.00).  

  
  

  On a strange, coincidental note, I read the article in the November National Geographic issue, the 125th Anniversary Photo publication, about the cost in human lives and misery of the precious metals taken from the Democratic Republic of the Congo early this morning, before the News Journal arrived (it was a little late this morning). Well, today, one of the most well-known, notorious groups, M-23, has given up. They are responsible for 1000s of abductions and placement of children into warfare and into slave labor mining the soil for elements that run our fancy electronics in the 1st world countries. It is good news but many rebel groups still terrorize the people of that country.
   
  
  

  

  Boys' brigade: soldiers from a Congolese rebel group. It is estimated
  that there are tens of thousands of child soldiers across the world Photo: AP
  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/4360268/Child-soldiers-the-brothers-trained-to-kill-each-other.html

  
  

  Just had a good walk of 2.5 miles that was punctuated by 4 calls to family -- first Nick, at work who'll I'll call later; Lindsay, who is planning to come up after Thanksgiving my plane (will arrange flight this week); Doug, who is planning to drive up the week of Thanksgiving (perhaps Nick could accompany him???); and finally, Susan, who I briefed on the Hospice situation and checked in on her work with the Church -- busy as always but really enjoying the preaching and working with her parishioners, Jan will be getting a treatment tomorrow and is being challenged by the chemo but mom is there and I'm certain a great comfort, Susan calls and she gets texts from her big sister. So good to be batting 1.000 with calls tonight to family. And had a good walk, too. Well, it's time to say goodnight and make sure that dad is comfortable. As Susan remarked, there will be challenges and I will need to be adaptable. Blessed be and so be it. May it be so.