18 November 2013: Monday, my 57th birthday and what a glorious day it's been, a true springlike day ... but dad's winter is upon him and he's had a rough day ...

This morning he had been calling for me, he said, for an hour, from his bed where he couldn't right himself. 

Is it a gift? (I like to start posts this way but it might be appropriate on my as Jez described it, "Coming-To-The-Earth-Day"). WE are both listening to Robert Schumann's Piano Concerto in A minor, Opus 54 at the same time. I just finished listening to a fellow November 18er, none other than the famous conductor Eugene Ormandy (b. 1899), longtime director of the Philadelphia Orchestra, and his recording with Rudolf Serkin in the mid 50s (about the time I was born) on the radio, WRTI out of Temple University in Philly.
My father, resting, listens to the recording he thinks is the best interpretation of the work: Ivan Moravec and the Czech Philharmonic conducted by Vaclav Neumann. Here is the YouTube link:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z2Z4BAaMhg4&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dz2Z4BAaMhg4

     
Dad in the TV room listening to the broadcast on the left on YouTube,
and me, on the first floor, in the kitchen, listening to the recording on
the right as a celebration of Eugene Ormandy's 114th birthday. 

As dad snores behind me at 4:05 p.m. on my 57th birthday, I believe that I have made it over the hump of despair and am looking at these end days in a more pragmatic, less emotional light. He could not feed himself today and he's been in bed, all day, and the hospice nurse is coming this late afternoon to possibly catheterize him since he could not produce any urine, although he felt a need, into the urinal earlier. Mom had walked the corridor, scaled the steps and was on the portable oxygen while she watched. (I had told her earlier that dad was in a steep decline and perhaps it was time to begin to start saying our goodbyes and try to be with him as much as possible).

I have been home, all day, and just recently got out of my gift pajama bottoms from Liz and into my torn-kneed jeans, a steal, literally from a Doug order from L.L. Beans back in 2010 when I came in a hurry to be with dad when he fell and hurt his knee and needed medical attention and then rehab and then I stayed through his knee replacement surgery that late summer. It was a long 7 months and I was not at ease with myself. They were long days but now they go well, thanks in large part to my social media contacts through Facebook and the fact that I am now here to stay for the "duration" and I am planning ahead for the funeral and what lies ahead for my mother and myself.

I have joined the local UU Society of Mill Creek and am just in hog heaven over the wonderful choir and the people I have met on social occasions and the developing friendships with Linda Lucero and others in the congregation. This is all good but I need a job and I need to feel worth by earning a salary or doing serious, committed volunteer work.

I had a wonderful conversation with Nick today ... broken up by a call from dad and an extended period of listening/watching the wonderful YouTube tape of Benedetti ... and the door bell rang and I thought, possibly, Delaware Hospice, but it was the irrepressible Marli Stam-Schouten and her meals and her extensive bag of goodies. She is amazing. Came up and spoke with mom but we did not bother the slumbering, solidly, father. He is out cold and still is as I type this note at 5:21 p.m., Marli's cabbage casserole warming in the oven (first time I have ever used it in the decades that I have lived in this home) at 400 degrees for about one hour, according to her directions. And I follow them to the letter as she is a former cook for Tony Graziano at the Fair Hill Inn, where she was introduced to dad these many years ago.

Marli greets mom with some of the Dutch treats that she brought on my 57th birthday, Monday afternoon.

 
Some of the goodies that Marli brought on my birthday.

15 November 2013: Friday ... I just want it to end he says as he readies to shave in the bathroom having poured his steaming water into the bowl and then sink ... please make my bed for me ...

As Solomon (Cutner) plays with the Philadelphia Orchestra, recorded in the early 1960s (a stroke ended his playing days in 1965 in his early 60s), on the record player downstairs, dad works to shave and is miserable and just wants it to end, even though he is no pain, it is the utter exhaustion and the inability to do what he use to do, feel like he use to, like I've said ... "Dying is not for the sissy." ...  he is terribly frail and walks so haltingly and weakly that I feel I need to hold him up the entire time ... "Need help Unk", says Liz. She then asks me to ask him if he needs help. I am leaving now at 11:10 a.m. on this Friday late morning.

He's complaining, like he is wont to do, about the blade and I see that he has it turned to the non-blade side and is shaving with that. I chuckle and he tells me that he hasn't been doing that the whole time. Well, I am unsympathetic to his malaise and move into mom's room where we start playing Hangman on the iPad after she watched and enjoyed the monologue of Bill Maher railing against holier-than-thou Christians who stiff gay waiters because of their sinfulness in the eyes of god.

       

Just received a call from a volunteer at Delaware Hospice -- does this sound familiar --Jan, who called to check on Rudolph Nyhoff and his needs for the weekend and whether they were sufficient. We had a nice talk and I told her that I had a similar volunteer position in Augusta, Georgia. IN fact, I need to get in touch with those nurses, who I'm already losing in my memory banks, and tell them of my dad's situation here in Wilmington.

Finished the 2nd box of Cream of Wheat since I have been home this morning and as a reminder, I took a photo of the box, its successor and the "unappetizing", though tasty, cereal, which spilled over, on the range. 

It looks unappetizing and it spilled over but dad loves it. The yellow is a good
blob of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" which is melted into the whole/Carnation
milk(s) combination. 

I am doing more than ever posting and responding on FB than ever. Loyd Dillon is posting each day in the month of "thankful" November describing, in excruciatingly delicious detail with writing so superb, his loves in his life. Today's was taste and I offered a few comments that ended with a description of my mother's Italian sausage and peppers. 

Day of Thanks #15. I am thankful for the sense of taste. On my way home from teaching at CPCC all morning, I picked up a light lunch for Brenda and me at Second Helping Charlotte. As soon as I took a bite of the tangy pulled pork sandwich with homemade slaw, my mind, my heart, my memories, my tastebuds and my saliva glands all reminded me of how much I love good tastes. Like you, I have my favorites: sweet potatoes baked until they caramelize then with several big pats of butter melted onto/into them; sliced, seasoned, battered and crisply fried slices of yellow crookneck squash like Granny Dillon made; creamy potato salad like Mom made; fresh collards with some vinegar AND hot sauce on them; freshly ground Amaretto coffee; crisply fried liver mush or liver pudding; good licorice; and lemon...absolutely lemon...almost ANYTHING lemon. I could go on but I won't. Hmmm. I have a late afternoon appointment. I may pick us up some dinner instead of cooking for Brenda and me. Second Helping again? Full meals this time? I'll decide soon so I can smilingly anticipate the intertwined aromas and tastes. What are some of YOUR favorites? Because I'll bet I'm not the only one who is thankful for the sense of taste.

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  Rudy Nyhoff I need a second helping of your mouth-watering words Loyd. You need to do a cookbook. Give Betty Crocker a call and share this post with her.

  27 minutes ago · Like
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  Rudy Nyhoff My mother's Italian sausage in a tomato sauce with green pepper ... can taste it right now. Will have to get her out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen to whip some up. Think I will mention it to her, right now.

 
Just received a notice via FB from the Philadelphia Orchestra page with this historical note:

          "On this day in 1943, 25-year-old Leonard Bernstein made his debut with the New York Philharmonic. Five years later, he made his debut with The Philadelphia Orchestra, on December 17, 1948. Here is the great and popular conductor rehearsing with the Orchestra at the Academy of Music that year."

Enjoying a wonderful late afternoon talk with dad, Dancer at my foot in the addition, he is on the couch, eyes closed and I talk to him about what I think as the meaning of life and go onto spout about making a difference (mention the shared FB post -- from Don Edwards -- about the Make A Wish Foundation and the young boy who plays Bat Kid and saves San Francisco from certain destruction; 1000s participated and the  San Francisco Chronicle even printed an edition with stories written by, you guessed it, Lois Lane and Clark Kent about the heroic acts of the young leukemia survivor, whose disease is in remission -- that is what the purpose of life is) and he is, unfortunately, clueless. In fact, I'm just back to the keyboard after his cry downstairs ... about what you ask ... it is the fact that the coffee grounds have not been cleaned from the Mr. Coffee machine. It should be done in the morning, he says, nonsensically, and I wonder what is the big, frickin' deal. Why is he so upset and why did he have to raise his voice. He calms when I question him and seems to get more rational ... well, we talked this afternoon and got onto the topic of the Last Four Songs of Richard Strauss, a work done in his last days, a piece of timeless beauty. I mention the recording that I heard prior to taking Dancer into the vet office with Renee Fleming, an incredible performance, but no, the one and only, unapproachable performance is that of Elizabeth Schwartzkopf, who sings now, Mozart arias from a compilation of her early work as a singer.

Yes, there is only one recording of the Strauss that bears the scrutiny of the ages and none other. It cannot be changed. Things have their priority and their place in the pantheon of great artistic efforts and they are fixed and permanent. 

As dad finishes his roast beef with mustard and tomato on, for heavens sake, Serpe's rye bread (not soft enough, it's not his special Pepperidge Farm bread that is far softer), so I go downstairs to get a knife and cut up his sandwich and he drinks his Ensure, but the NewsHour is coming up and I find, to my delight, after telling him of the anniversary of Bernstein's surprise conductorial debut at the podium of the NY Philharmonic in 1943, I mention the Great C-Minor Mass of Mozart and his recording and I FIND IT on YouTube and as we start to listen, the NewsHour starts and he has to listen so I stopped it, but before I hit the halt button, I begin to feel the tears come on for the section Laudamus Te, the singer, who is lovely, is not Arlene Auger. Here is the link and a photo of the conductor at the podium of the big orchestra and choir:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvcOGdTAfDs

W.A.Mozart - Great C Minor Mass K 427 - Leonard Bernstein

Mass in C minor KV 427 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, called the Great is one of the most famous works of sacred music. Holy Mass is called to emphasize the concept of monumental works.      Mozart left the work unfinished. It was only in 1901 by Alois Schmidt drew his own conception of relevant works by Mozart, which completed the missing parts of the mass. Original cell was written by Mozart: Kyrie, Gloria, Sanctus, Benedictus and the first part of the Creed.      We can see and hear the version of the Great Mass in the interpretation of the Choir and Orchestra of the Bavarian Radio Symphony under the baton of conductor Leonard Bernstein's delicious.      The concert was recorded in the Scottish Church Abbey Church in 1990. In addition to the High Mass on the album was the motet "Exsultate, jubilate" and a brief church song "Ave verum Corpus".

11 October 2013: Friday, Caruso, Donizetti, Una Furtiva Lagrima, cream of wheat finished ... YouTube videos galore, Stacy/Mom shine

In the morning of this rainy Friday, two absolute, make that three, joys. Dad got some rest last night as I awoke him at 7:30 a.m. and he expressed great surprise at the lateness. Brought up his breakfast -- I had already fed and "drugged" mom by 6 a.m. -- and transported Mom's serving table to hold the cream of wheat (came out well this morning), which he ate, with abandon, but not the bananas, and he did drink the tea as we listened to first Pavarotti and then a 1904 recording of Caruso singing, "Una Furtiva Lagrima" from Donizetti's opera "L'elisir d'amore", 2nd Scene, 3rd Act.

"Caruso, possessed of a magnificent, expressive, tenor voice, combined with classic technique,
was a leading operatic star, and he was the first singer to be heard by millions of people
through the newly invented gramophone."

There will be a performance of this opera by the DelawareOpera tonight and Sunday afternoon at the Grand Opera House in downtown Wilmington and I've e-mailed Gail Emerson to see if she'd like to go, dependent on how dad feels, on Sunday. It would be great if he could make it, but I could still go with Gail on my own, I guess, just came to me, if she's up for it. 

Dad asked for Toscanini so we spent 25 minutes listening to an act from Aida with those singers (Herva Nelli, Richard Tucker, et al.) and the choir under the direction of Robert Shaw and that he exultantly proclaimed, walking downstairs ... 

"What a way to begin the day!", he said, after watching Toscanini on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUxpLI5DA3M

Weber Euryanthe Overture & Brahms Symphony No. 1 - Toscanini

Here is a link to the video that I took of Dad while he listened 

to the first movement of the Brahms 1st Symphony, which I then uploaded to 

to YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMVnYu67QBc

Mom got downstairs for the second time in three days, she had a styling

appointment with Stacy this Friday morning. We made it to the kitchen

with the seated wheelchair and portable oxygen and Stacy washed (got a

video of it and posted to YouTube), cut, and then styled her hair 

wonderfully. She looked great as the FB post shows below:

My  Facebook  post  read :
"Nothing like a wash, cut, and dry to brighten a spirit, even on a rainy, overcast day."

I took an over 8-minute video of the washing process and posted it on 

YouTube  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES_eBrOhLKk). It was wonderful.

 
Finishing up with a blow dry. Mom is in 7th heaven.

Great walk with Dancer in the early afternoon. She'd been 

deprived this morning because of all the activity, so she and I 

deserved it. Did the Carousel Farm, off the leash, and walk to

my alma mater. On the way, I petted a horse who came to me 

in hopes that I had an apple or a carrot. I had neither but

the horse let me pet it. Went for a little more than 3 miles, 

which surprised me but I got a good comment from Stacy in 

response to my weight -- you look good, thinner. Think it's the

walking each day 4-5 miles, twice a day. It's not too aerobic

but it builds muscle mass slowly and methodically. And it makes

you feel good. The comment felt that way even though I said I 

still had my inner tube. While walking, texted Stacy a few times

telling her that she was "undeniably, and even indubitably da 

BEST!" and also sent her the photo above the above, which she
responded to with an Lol and then later told me that the milk and
the carrots that she'd picked up at the store were in the fridge
and freezer,respectfully. I'd told dad before I left that Stacy
might be by with the groceries. "Do you need anything from the
store," she'd asked, earlier and I thought, yes, we're low on
whole mile and ate the last of the carrots, a new fav of mom
and dad, last night. She truly is fantastic!

                 

New connection with Chris Senge. We are Facebook friends and he 
has offered to use his video editing skills to put together a 
package, using my photos and videos, to illustrate the lives
of my parents. It is intriguing but don't know exactly what it
entails. Will work with it, though. Chris is a nice kid even 
if a little kooky in his Christian beliefs. His company is
SMC Senge Media Concepts, LLC and I went to the page and "Liked"
it. He's fast on the keyboard and ok'd my friend request 
posthaste. Details to follow.

Dad has stayed in his pj's all day, a "lazy day" he calls it
(I said he'd earned one after 85 years) but it's been a better.


day and he did eat some of the Dutch cookies (speculaas) 


and a few slices of Boar's Head liverwurst 
and some Tapioca pudding.               

An interesting amalgam, but any calories will do. I'm and
he's not particular. 

It's now, as I type this, pouring outside, where Dancer is --
there is protection and she does stay, mostly, dry -- the rain
pattering on the room and side of the house. A sound from the
past, reminiscent and familiar. We have had good rain and the
Mill Creek which I passed off and on Limestone Road was swollen,
full up to the banks but not spilling over. The walk was over
3 miles and I got a horse to come up to me -- they're so large --
and petted its head (always worry about biting but this one was
tame, looking for a carrot or apple).

They announced the Nobel Peace Prize today and this organization, 
OPCW,was named as the winner -- ORGANISATION FOR THE PROHIBITION
OF CHEMICAL WEAPONS (Elimination of chemical weapons stockpiles and chemical weapons production faciles subject to the verification measures provided for in the Convention.)                 

Linked onto e-mail from French language service, Yabla, and we 
watched and listened to vocabulary and some intriguing videos 
including this one detailing sites in Paris, starting with the
Eiffel Tower. He asked whether I remembered going up the Tower
when we traveled to Paris. I said I did and thought we went 
together but he said we brought the whole family.

http://french.yabla.com/player_cdn.php?id=1224&tlang_id=en

Time to say good night as Dad is resting and the rain is pounding
and Marli Stam-Schouten called to say she was bringing over 
some Dutch dish from her daughter's house. She said she had a
good umbrella. She will need it. 

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