Tuesday, December 31, 2013

31 December 2013: Tuesday ... New Year's Eve ...

Sometime you have a day that is just dispiriting. I heard from no one today regarding a possible New Year's Eve get-together. I e-mailed, texted and voice mailed the Haymans' and have heard nothing. I did text Susan ... heard right back from her ... and Nick, heard from him next, and to Lindsay, finally heard from her. (Just heard a message vroooommm on my phone so perhaps and yes, it is Linda Lucero, who I texted earlier and did not hear from posthaste, like I usually do from her, but she writes ... "Yes. I hope you  have a wonderful happy new year as well!"

And finally, I had all the paperwork together and $40.00 bucks to get a Delaware license. The last time I'd gone I'd forgotten two pieces of mail with my home address but this time I remembered and handed to a former police officer, 6' 5", who played basketball and football in HS, but blew out his knee on the job and has had several surgeries. I think he got this desk job as a replacement but he goes 250. I'd mentioned that at 6' 0" and 200 I felt like a tiny fellow compared to some. There was employee walking in back of the worker who looked like a former NFL lineman. Just a big guy. 




The Flyers win tonight in Calgary, 4-1, and I think I'm going to bed before the ball drops on 2013 and signals the beginning of 2014. I'll touch up on this blog in the morning, 1/1/14. 


Earlier, prior to the Flyers' game, which started at 9 p.m., and after the NewsHour broadcast with Hari Sreenivasan, substituting for Gwenn Ifill and Judy Woodruff, I listened to an extraordinary piece composed for Yo-Yo Ma and conducted by Alan Gilbert. I wrote and posted this on FB thanks to a page from David Bianculli's TV Worth Watching web site, something I have mistakenly poo-pooed in the past when he's been on Terri Gross' Fresh Air:
Cellist Yo-Yo Ma and New York Philharmonic Director Alan Gilbert work well together ... this new piece was extraordinary, "Azul" by Osvaldo Golijov. Don't know if any other string player could pull it off with his genuine and heartfelt pizzazz. And with all its enthusiastic froth, there's no falsity in his playing. There were other players, two who handled, literally, various percussion instruments and a third who played the accordion, that made the work strange but engaging. All the musicians, played unbelievably, thanks in large part to Gilbert's conducting (he knew the difficult work cold) and of course, the faultless execution of Ma.
“Azul,” a cello concerto that Osvaldo Golijov wrote for Ma and the Boston Symphony two years ago.  The score did not find its true form until Golijov rewrote it a year later for another cellist, Alicia Weilerstein, inspired by her youthful passion.  ... Ma and Golijov are artists made for each other.  A composer of multiple personalities, Golijov has drawn his voice from the Argentina of his birth, his Eastern European roots, his Israeli education, and America, where he has chosen to live.  Golijov thinks in grand terms and then chaotically brings everything he knows to a project. “Azul” (blue in Spanish) is in four connected movements: “Paz Sulfurica” (“Sulfuric Peace”), “Silencio,” “Transit” and “Yrushalem” (Jerusalem).  Some of the imagery comes from Pablo Neruda’s poem "The Heights of Macchu Picchu."http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2009/01/review-yo-yo-ma.html

I have washed, for the sake of mom, the blanket that dad had on him when he died over 3 weeks ago and removing it from the dryer it smelled particularly fresh and lovely. It keeps mom warm and though his smell may be gone, I can go around the corner, into the records room in dad's old office and inhale the clothing that hung in the living room closet for years. There he still exists and there are no plans to take those jackets and shirts to the cleaners. 

Displaying photo.JPG
He would always align the pillows just so. Dad was a stickler in some respects.
He wanted it done right. The blanket stuck with him until the end and I just
washed it this evening and wrapped mom up in it to keep her warm. 

Monday, December 30, 2013

30 December 2013: Monday ... the penultimate (a word I shared in a letter to Bobbi Stenstrom and her refulgent garden) day of 2013 ... mom used the Dutch oven to wash up and then change (she wants plastic next time) ...

Went to the USPS web site and amazingly typed in my 16-digit or so tracking number for the certified letter to Washington National Insurance in Carmel, Indiana, and it came up as delivered two days after sent immediately with a list of places the post visited along its journey from Delaware to Indiana. Remarkable.

https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction.action tRef=fullpage&tLc=1&tLabels=23010640000141510378
Mom had a hankering for pizza today, I think instigated by a tv commercial or program that mentioned the food, so I got her order after mentioning that Art Steele had ordered a pepperoni pizza on the day he visited, Saturday, 7 December 2013, the day before dad's death, so mom ordered a pepperoni pizza on thin crust, not the pan that Art wanted, with mushrooms and extra cheese. I ordered it by phone from Domino's, the same place I'd gone before. It was cut into 6 pieces and I, rather egregiously, had half of the pizza, after having really had my lunch of a liverwurst sandwich with salad and tomato. Sometimes I have a ferocious appetite ... took my weight for the first time in a long time and came up with 208 with my shoes but I have lost no weight, but I am more muscular. It's the walking each night averaging about 2 miles. It really does make a difference.


Well it's done thanks to the Internet and a credit card, I am $842 plus change less rich after paying the TimeShare fees for another year. The following is our basic access info (login and password to the web site) and what we have for the year 2014:

 9-1984664


 3000

 3000

ACCOUNT SNAPSHOT


 01-Jan-2003

 THE Club

 Valued Club Member



Login/Username: THISELLNYHOFF



New Password: booboo186
(might as well stay with the usual, makes sense,
who else would want to access the site)




I am bad at names but just figured out why. I don't practice. I composed a very late holiday card to the FamilyY of North Augusta this late afternoon (forgot to go to DMV to get my overdue Delaware driver's license) and when I went to thing about addressing it I used a collective word "Friends" rather than trying to list and obviously forget, many of the names. Well, I went to the Facebook page and collected some names that are beginning to fade and they include ... Dusty Rawlins, Dorothy Macafee, Zach, Cody, Janet Thornburg, Wendy from Canada, Wendy from the USA, Andrew Phan, Joseph, Cheryl Haughey, and others that I am sure to have forgotten like the paralyzed young man Holtzclaw, whose first name I forget, and my dear friend, the devoted Alabama fan, along with Carie Bugos, who moved to Savannah to work with her father and family. 


Good walk tonight ... called Olivia at home and got her. Nice to touch base and share the story, again, about dad's passing and to learn of her trip to Florida to see her son and two teenage grandchildren. She has a total of 10 grandchildren from her three boys. It's always good to talk to her, she is a neat, independent woman who has always carried an animus for her ex-husband for some reason that I have never determined why. But we talked over my annoying Digifit app that speaks to me each 5-minute interval now ... the person I'm talking to can't hear it but I can.  

Why am I staying up close to 1:00 a.m. Well, I'm watching a 3-3 hockey game between the Flyers and the Vancouver Canucks. The Flyers scored in the final 2 minutes with a man off the ice for the goalie to tie it. What a great game. They're in the overtime right now, five minutes and then they have the shootout. I think I'll stay up.


They WON it in a shootout, 4-3. Steve Mason, seen above, stopped all 3 penalty shots and Lecavalier scored the only goal necessary on the Canucks' goalie, Lack.
The time is 1:01 a.m. Time for beddy-bye.  



Sunday, December 29, 2013

29 December 2013: Sunday ... dreary, rainy day but the sermon brought light into one's being, finding that inner sanctum of bliss ...

Starting this blog at 6:31 p.m. as Shawshank Redemption has just concluded and Red is embracing Andy on the Pacific beach in Mexico where he's come to be with his friend after his 40-year incarceration at Shawshank and Andy's amazing escape. Just a great, feel-good movie with really good guys and absolutely sinister bad guys. 



Where Andy tells Red about that Mexican town and where to find
a special stash under an obsidian rock by the tree where he first
made love to his wife.

It was a dreary day but church went well. I did coffee for the first time with Maggie McLaughlin, also a newbie, but wearing two other hats -- she was a greeter and the ministerial associate for the sparsely attended service. I sat next to one of my favorite people, someone I met on my return visit to UUSMC, who, along with Linda Lucero, invited me to the literary soiree at the latter's home. It was Susan Klugerman, the restaurateur extraordinaire, who had a fine eatery in San Francisco during the height of the AIDS epidemic. She lost many of her employees to the disease. It was nice to sit next to her and my really favorite person came, Jane Frelick, a few minutes after the start, seated, as always in the front row. She will have a 70th wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks but is unsure whether Robert, her iconic doctor husband, will make it. He is in a nursing home at present and not doing very well. Let's hope they make it, but we talked and she has such a healthy and positive attitude. They have lived an amazing and awesomely productive and wonderful life together. 



Drs. Robert Frelick, Nicholas Petrelli, Ruben Tiexido, and Les Whitney (left to right)
at the American Cancer Society's "A Night at the Museum" award event.
WILMINGTON, DE  – June 4, 2010 – On Saturday, April 17, the American Cancer Society hosted “A Night at the Museum” at the Delaware Museum of Natural History in Wilmington to honor local hometown heroes who have helped the organization create a world with more birthdays and less cancer.
http://sacancernews.org/2010/06/american-cancer-society-honors-local-heroes-at-%E2%80%9Ca-night-at-the-museum%E2%80%9D-distinguished-event/

I am truly enjoy the services of Rev. Keith Goheen, who is a member of the congregation, but lives and is the chaplain at Beebe Healthcare in Lewes, Delaware. He drives about 90 minutes to get to the church and he does a wonderful job. He delivers a powerful sermon and has a deliberate and measured tone that engages. He spoke of being assaulted by comments all around oneself and then having to find that place within, the one where one can find all that is necessary. It is place to get your bearings and be able to come to some understanding. It is sacred space and there you may find wisdom. He made an interesting statement about his life, when he came to a point where his roots had shifted and had moved on: I resolve to live unresolved, he said.


And he also spoke about the sun and its bounty and how it has shined over all time with little recognition, so does generosity illumine the world. He was quoting from the Persian poet Rumi.
 On a big sports note, the Eagles beat the Cowboys in the last game of the NFL season when the backup QB for Dallas was intercepted with less than 2 minutes remaining for a 26-24 victory. They head to the playoffs against New Orleans at home next Sunday as winners of their division, even though N.O. has more victories. 

Saturday, December 28, 2013

28 December 2013: Saturday ... gorgeous day, need to walk Dancer ... copied Rich/Jason/Kim Rotter pics ... playing Beethoven quartets with Orford w/book out ...

Displaying photo.JPG
Susan holds the infant Jason Rotter, whose birthday is tomorrow, 29 December (1986?), and who has moved back to the U.S. after working in Denmark and in England, most recently. I think he's 27 years old. Sent this photo to Kim and to Joe and Tilly Rotter as well as Susan. Hope I didn't press any emotional wounds.

Did do the walk today down the White Clay Creek Trail that moves out from Paper Mill Park, where the church resides, and walked all the way to a narrow roadway (Smith Mill Road?) where a volunteer naturalist (not bad looking woman) was testing the stream for pollutants and it's where I noticed that Dancer had cut her ear and had blood on the side of her face. It wasn't serious and she was not in pain but I decided to walk, at the woman's suggestion, to Poly Drummond Road and walk in a "circuitous" path rather than retrace my steps back down a muddy trail. It took A LOT longer than expected. There's a lot more in the view screen when you walk than when you drive. I started to question whether I was going in the right direction ... was I headed toward McGlynn's rather than Paper Mill Park and the church at the intersection of Poly Drummond and Paper Mill Roads.


Well, it took some time. About a mile and a half, after I had to restart my digifit which had stopped charting my path after I checked it on the narrow, freshly asphalted roadway that took you back into the parkland of New Castle County, White Clay Creek Park.  

27 December 2013: Friday ... CALLED DICK OPSOMER this morning in Leidschendam, Netherlands ... mom used her commode for the first time ... hospice minister, Scott Lee, is here ...


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Letter, obituary, Xmas cards, and printed pictures from the
funeral visitation and of dad w/Lindsay at Christmas were
sent to dad's best friend and Leiden roommate for years, Dick
Opsomer, who lives in Leidschendam, Netherlands. The cost
was $3.49 and the postal clerk said 2 weeks for delivery. 

Today was the first day that mom used a hospital commode in her bedroom. It was not as difficult as I thought it might be. She's comfortable. It's accessible and she doesn't have to work herself around, painstakingly, the bed to get to the bathroom and then get onto the toilet. This will be a lot better. 

We had a wonderful visit from hospital cleric, Rev. Scott Lee, a Lutheran minister who did his seminary studies in Berkeley, and who had a real knack for getting mom to talk. She was comfortable with his questioning and she opened up to him. He did not do any proselytizing, he said, up front, that was not his purpose. He stayed a good long time and we have his cell and office contact numbers, as well as his e-mail. He should be back. It was a nice get-to-know you occasion. 

In addition to calling Dick Opsomer (011 31 70-3274490) and he answered, clear as a bell ... "Dick Opsomer" and I told him the news and started to feel the emotion well up that always happens when I talk to people that knew and loved my father. It's the human thing to do and it is so natural and yet, inexplicable. His English was worlds above my Dutch but we had a good conversation. I promised to write and I did, shortly after getting off the phone, typing a letter and printing out the obituary as well as photos from the funeral visitation and a picture of dad holding Lindsay at that Christmas over 20 years ago. I was successful after phoning Marli's cell, Gerrit picked up, they're headed to Roanoke to see their other daughter and common-law husband and grandchild, who told me the procedure to call overseas. He pays nothing as he uses Vonage, which I don't understand but I'm so glad it worked and that I got the package off to him. It will arrive after he reads my Dutch greeting for "Happy New Year": Gelukkig Nieuwjaar. 


In the evening, I got to wear my santa suspenders again and wear a holiday tie (the one with the reindeer on the front) for a wonderful event at the Queen on N. Market Street, the Sound of Music Sing-a-long. The place was filled and the screen, though small, was big enough and the sound system was superb and the lyrics, which I knew barely any except for the famous ones, flowed along well. The crowd was festive and Linda Lucero was a joy to be with as always. She's just a lot of fun. No pressure. She paid for the tickets ($15 apiece) and got the drinks (which were not cheap ... I got a buzz from 3 Christmas ales and wobbled a few times to the restroom outside and down the hall). The Queen, which reminds me of The Imperial Theatre in Augusta, is quaint, hospitable and I will return. It's an extension of World Cafe Live from Philly, the national radio program hosted by David Dye and broadcast from the University of Pennsylvania public radio station.




Wednesday, December 25, 2013

25 December 2013: Christmas Day ... clear and cold, ice in Dancer's water bowl ... the luminaria bags are collected; sand trashed, bags recycled, candles kept ...



Kind of a cool image, I wrote: Thought it was frozen solid but just a layer had formed 
on Dancer's water bowl this frosty Christmas morn.

It's difficult to come to this digital page and compose at the end of the day for you forget the memorable moments of a day, even a Christmas day, when it's just the two of you and phone calls from Lindsay and Liz and Gail and Nick and sharing with Susan about a book by Elizabeth Gilbert, who you friend on FB because she loves the social media (you heard her interview on WHYY with Marty Moss-Coane (had no idea how to spell it), who is the author of mega-best seller Eat, Pray, Love and who has written a book, I thought she would be interested in and which I sent her a New York Times review by Janet Maslin called The Signature of All Things, which I offered to get for her but have not heard
back. I friended her on FB and wrote a wry comment about a photo she posted of her in 1976 at age 7, yes, she was born in 1969 on a tree farm and her sister is a well-known author, too. Splendid, creative childhood with parents who nurtured their true artistic selves.


Yes, I an enamored. She is lovely and so talented and intellectual. 


Went to Snapfish and uploaded pics of the Finn Family to give back to them what they gave to us, two lovely printed photos. Still have to figure out how to get a assemblage of maybe 4 photos in one display to send to them. I will do it. 



On Christmas Eve, when I found a Nintendo Wii, thanks to Muhammad at Best Buy, the handsome close-cropped bearded young man, and I ate my usual veggie omelet at Mary's Kountry Kitchen and go to share dad's passing with Mary, at the cash register, and Shelley, serving but not me on this day, I did not find something for Stacy. I had wanted to. 

Well, this evening, it hit me. Get her something personal. A photograph. One that we have displayed for years in its frame ... dad and mom laughing and enjoying a moment at a meal at Cindy's wedding reception from some 30 years ago, now that's personal and meaningful. So, I wrapped it and combined it with a Christmas card that I'd written earlier, left a message on her home phone (she was at work tonight, doing the holiday as it was her turn) and placed the present and card in her mailbox. Afterward, when I'd finished my 2 miles plus walk with Dancer, I phoned her cell and she answered at the hospital. She did seem put out but anxious that I called. She thought something might be up with mom. I told her about mom being placed on Hospice and then about looking in her mailbox ... she closed by calling me "Ru". Nobody but my mother has ever called me by that shortened version of my name. Got a curious pang in me about Stacy. No, it will never be but I have a strong feeling of like/love for her and what she's done for my mother, specifically, and my father, too. She has been an extraordinary neighbor and she is an extraordinarily beautiful person. 

What am I truly thankful for on this Christmas Day 2013:
  1. Being able to spend Christmas with my mother for perhaps the last time.
  2. Having friends like Marli and Gerrit Stam who really enjoy spending time with us and are just terrific.
  3. Family like Marissa Finn who can give gifts that touch the core of our being.
  4. Being able to share a part of your life with another in the form of a treasured photo that you feel is a proper way to say "Thank You" for all you do Stacy Casaletto.
  5. Understand that when mom calls to answer that call without anger and show only love because we only have one shot at this thing called life, as Gordon Roth, my bass compatriot in the UUSMC choir so eloquently put it last evening.
  6. The genius of David Attenborough and his animal films. Just finished watching the World of Mammals on Netflix tonight. Just extraordinary commentary and stunning photography. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

24 December 2013: Christmas Eve ... Tuesday, 16 days after dad's death ... will buy Nintendo Wii today for mom ... look for a Xmas gift to give Stacy (???) ...



In Arthur's recent words: "I had a good day today but I think I overdid it my shoulder hurts a little bit now
I'll be back I promise.   
December 21 at 5:51pm via mobile 

Dancer is anxious to go outside in the morning, I take her out the front to do her business

but then she wants to be in the back, checking things out, even if it's dark and chilly, like

was this morning before 6 a.m. when I let her out and took her photo from the diamond-

shaped door window in the addition. It made for a rather bereft look.

 


Plan to check out purchasing a Nintendo Wii today for mom, to hook up to the HD TV. It will need a special connector (about $35) to be able to be HD compatible but well worth it according to the YouTube video that I watched on installing the system.


At the Best Buy near the Christiana Hospital, thanks to salesman Muhammad, or "Mo", as his friends call him, a devilishly good looking young African-American with a great, close-cropped beard, sold me one of the last, HD-compatible, Wii U systems with Mario Brothers. It was not cheap at $299.99 but I got a $25 gift card with the purchase (made it all worth it), which I charged to my Amazon-Chase VISA credit card. I have already presented it to mom and awaits set-up tomorrow on Christmas day. In addition to games, we'll be able to access Netflix through the control monitor. 

Waking up at 4:30 and realizing that you have choir practice in an hour, you need to get dressed (have to have the Xmas tie and suspenders), put out the luminaria, get mom a cup of tea, and drive to UUSMC on Poly Drummond and Paper Mill Roads. It was hectic, especially when I needed to borrow a butane lighter (fantastic device) from C. J. across the way to light my luminaria. It was a challenge and in the end, only 2 of 12 candles in a bag rooted in sand were still lit with the wind and the chill. My walk with Dancer around the neighborhood saw better and lesser success than my efforts. But Twist Lane was particularly beautiful:


A windy and chill Christmas Eve extinguished 10 of my 12 luminaria on Pickwick and Nicholby Drives,
 but the lights fared better on Twist Lane, shielded from the wind.
The Limestone Gardens/Sheridan Square Civic Association organizes the display each year.

Monday, December 23, 2013

23 December 2013: Last day to get signed up for ACA (waiting on state of Delaware, need to call 800 number) ... Impt meeting with Sczewczyk today ... call health insurance company ... check with Mealey

Today is a critical day in the finalization of my father's passing. Will discuss financial/tax issues with his accountant, Tom Szewczyk (my goodness, I think I have the spelling down, almost), at least he is the brother of Joe, retired, who did my parents' taxes all those years at 10:30 a.m. The longtime employee there is Chris, who spans both brother accountants. 

Need to phone the health insurance company, Washington General (?), and cancel dad's policy and I have to contact Mealey about their notification of Social Security and Medicare. Have to start using these death certificates as I received #10 of them from the funeral home. 

Carmel, Indiana  46032


Mom was complaining this morning about my inattention, so I put in the monitor that dad used for several weeks and hopefully that will allow me to hear her sooner.
Graco Sound Select LX Audio Baby Monitor - White
The meeting with Tom Szewczyk went extremely well. Gregarious and talkative, we just chewed the fat for a good 20 minutes before discussing taxes and finance issues. He gave me a form with things to look out for and his card with e-mail addresses, et al., and I fired him a post that morning with my info. He got right back to me. He lost his father at 4 1/2 in a horrific work accident and years later, working with Uncle Walt (Ron's dad ... Tom's mom and Sally Okarski were sisters) he asked where his father had been called. They were having lunch and his uncle said right here. Need to share that story with Ron.

Mom called back after I left a voicemail and we had a good talk. I vented about not being responded to after sending e-mails with picture attachments from my family. I got steamed and on my pedestal but she brought me back down. They probably haven't even seen it. Susan is too busy with the season and her Church's head minister had surgery is out of commission at the busiest time of year. She has no time to respond. Lindsay and Nick are another matter, but they oftentimes just don't pay close attention. Well, regardless, I felt sorry for myself and you know where that gets you. I get angry at mom for the same sense of hopelessness and helplessness. Stop moping and do something. I'm learning that in late middle age like not stopping my walk early as the rain picked up around Dorking Court. I could have cut the walk short but said, NO, I'm going to finish my walk around Sheridan Square and make it close to two miles. Didn't quite get there but did complete the walk. A minor victory but one nonetheless.



Important call the Washington National Insurance and I've begun the process of closing out dad's policy with the company. Will send a death certificate with info on his policy to the home office. Ten business days required for closure of policy but at least it's in the works. They will go back, once I inform Wells Fargo to stop the electronic transfer of funds to WNI, to the date of his death, 12/8/13 and remit funds taken for the policy's premium.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

22 December 2013: Sunday ... it is so warm out there, we might hit 80 today and it's overcast, Dancer is in the back and I need to shower at 8:16 a.m. ... just washed my hair ... need to walk Dancer now

Mom is having such a rough day today. She is exhausted and just unable to move herself from or around or on the bed. She was stuck in one position, she said, while I was resting downstairs, for an hour and I had to get the heating pad re-covered and started up and get dad's old blanket atop her. She has not eaten any dinner tonight because I've just let her rest. I did, with Joyce's approval and encouragement, turn up her oxygen to 5.0 liters per minute because her pulse oxygen, earlier in the day, was in the mid-80s, which is too low. Her demeanor appears like a drug stupor but she is responding to questions but she is just so lethargic and unable to move. I am worried. Need to call Dr. Maged and Hospice tomorrow before I go to the appointment with accountant Tom Szcewczyk (a name I will never learn how to spell, it is unbelievable with only one vowel, it is pronounced -- Zeff-check.)

Displaying photo.JPG


The Stomberg twins Miranda and Karina (unsure which is which, one plays
the flute, the other the violin, obviously) and Loren Nolan played
Hymn #73, A Chant for All Seasons, at today's service put on by the youth,
a very musically talented corps, at UUSMC this late Sunday morning, 22 December 2013.Found and placed the e-mails of Larry and Jennifer Stomberg and sent this photo to
them. Got a thank you e-mail from Jennifer.

Got to church just after 9 a.m. thinking we had choir only to find the parking lot vacant, so I took to path in my loafers and jacket and walked 2 miles ... a mile onto the trail that took me through the development next to Paper Mill Park. It was meant for bikes and not dress shoes but I was careful and the trail was not that hilly, but I went a mile in and then turned around. Came upon only one female runner, before I got to the trail through the houses and two male runners on the path. Looks to be an excellent trail to explore with Dancer and in the future, a  X-country bike a la Gordon Roth.



Joyce called this evening. She won't be able to make it on Christmas day but will give me a call ... she says she's going Jewish and that Christmas doesn't bother her as much as Thanksgiving (that is, being alone and all) and will probably take in a movie and eat Chinese. She'll be getting Tom's pension check on the 26th and will look at coming down to spend the New Year with me. It would be nice but I am not counting on it. We had a nice conversation, though.

Displaying photo.JPG
Finally moved it up from the basement and the examining room
of dad's old office, dusted it off and placed it in mom's room.
She is out of it today, totally exhausted and unable to get herself
in and out of the bed. But the tree, three days before Christmas, is
a nice holiday decoration that enlivens her room. Finally, after some 
delicate play got the lights to stay on with an extension cord.

Just ordered Wordplay from Amazon through a distributor with a 98% favorable rating over nearly 18,000 orders for $.49 plus shipping. The bill came to less than $5 and my Amazon credit points will pay for the order. There will be defects but it is usable and I can't lose anything in the deal. Got the Amazon e-mail, posthaste:


Thank you for shopping with us. We'd like to let you know that Goodwill Michiana has received your order, and is preparing it for shipment. Your estimated delivery date is below. If you would like to view the status of your order or make any changes to it, please visit Your Orders on Amazon.com.
If you are using rewards points towards payment, these will be deducted from your rewards points balance when your items are shipped.*


Well the Eagles are tattooing the Chicago Bears tonight on Sunday Night Football and at 10:56 p.m. I gave mom her final evening dose of opiates and calming medications. I divided it up tonight and gave them to her myself, rather than trust her own administration. The other day I found several of the drugs on the floor and had wondered how she had taken so many of the drugs, so soon. She takes 2 Vicodin, 2 Temazepam, and 4 Xanax; so tonight, I gave it to her in 3 instances ... first the Vicodin and then, around 9:30 p.m., after she went to the bathroom, 1 Temazepam and 2 Xanax, and finally, at the close or nearing the end of the football game and the end of Downton Abbey on WHYY, she got the final doses. I think it was successful. She is more aware and she ate a little pudding tonight. 

File:Temazepam.svg

Temazepam.svg ‎(SVG file, nominally 512 × 449 pixels, file size: 11 KB)

Scalable Vector Graphics (SVG) is an XML-based vector image format
for two-dimensional graphics that has support for interactivity and animation. 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

21 December 2013: Saturday ... the 9th of Beethoven is concluding as I type this, John Eliot Gardiner and his Orchestre Révolutionnaire et Romantique ... amazing performances of the Beethoven symphonies ...

See Explanation.  Clicking on the picture will download
 the highest resolution version available.
Explanation: Today the Solstice occurs at 0608 Universal Time, the Sun reaching its southernmost declination in planet Earth's sky. Of course, the December Solstice marks the beginning of winter in the northern hemisphere and summer in the south. When viewed from northern latitudes, the Sun will make its lowest arc through the sky along the southern horizon. So in the north, the Solstice day has the shortest length of time between sunrise and sunset and fewest hours of daylight. This striking composite image follows the Sun's path through the December Solstice day of 2005 in a beautiful blue sky, looking down the Tyrrhenian Sea coast from Santa Severa toward Fiumicino, Italy. The view covers about 115 degrees in 43 separate, well-planned exposures from sunrise to sunset.http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap071222.html

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I still find it difficult to understand the Solstice. I need to take the time and just figure it out. Learn me some astronomy. I'll be the better for it, gain a better perspective on my place on this Earth and how it is configured with our Sun and our solar system. When this knowledge will be gained I have no idea, probably never. I'll just continue to wallow in my ignorance and get by not knowing why today, the start of winter (which I just learned does not need capitalization unless it refers to a name like Winter's chill) and is the shortest day and thus, longest night of the year; whereas, in the Southern hemisphere, it is the start of summer. One day.

Why is this an effort to write ... I consider it a punishment that I must write and record everything of import during this mild, springlike day, the start of winter, where the temperature approached 70 and I walked Dancer, after trying to find a Post Office where I could get my letters to Susan, Nick, and Lindsay, today, so they might arrive by Christmas. But NOOO ... the post offices are closed and the mail is picked up early in the afternoon on Saturdays, so my mail is stuck in the mailbox and won't go out till Monday and arrive after Christmas. I'd put $100.00 dollar checks in each of the kids' cards and am now down to about $60.00 in my old checking account, which I should close out soon.

Called the dad's health insurance company today to learn that their hours are only during the week. Will call on Monday to cancel his policy. Received SS notices about increases in payment to dad and mom's accounts. Of course, dad's will end with notification (which I believe Mealey may have already done) and mom's will continue, slightly increased, but I am getting the material together for the visit to the accountant, whose name I will never learn to spell, Sczeczyck (that's close). Regardless, I'm moving closer to closing the financial and governmental concerns regarding dad's death.

I have to get use to getting the mail from the mailbox, like my father did for years, no decades, in the late afternoon for today I had more notes of condolence, a trio sent by Mealey Funeral Home, which I think came from their web site, sponsored by legacy.com for people to write something about the deceased. One of the surprising notes came from "Raggsy" (Lisa Paulson Leach), a camp friend of Susan's, who commented on the obituary and who I then e-mailed and who responded posthaste. She told me that her sister died from breast cancer and I shared the message of Dusty's death with her, who I know she knew well, and how it devastated Susan. It is wonderful when old friends, even of your ex-wife let you know that they care and are connected to your sorrow.

Girls prepare a meal around a fire circle
during overnight tent camping at Grove Point in the 1980s.
 
http://thismorningishistory.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/the-girl-scouts-are-coming/

Starting using our vast store of art and musical books today when I took down the biography of Beethoven, a lavishly illustrated book with numerous portraits of friends and patrons of the composer. Just an amazing compilation by the noted musicologist and biographer, H. C. Robbins Landon (link to his obituary). I was listening to an extraordinary set of recordings by the remarkable conductor, John Eliot Gardiner, who has created ensembles that use period instruments but more importantly, symphonic size to create a sound much like what Beethoven would have heard. His Orchestre Revolutionnaire et Romantique, a recording that dad bought, is just incredible. The gif below is of the recording, a total of 6 CDs, five of which are the nine symphonies, the sixth is a spoken dialogue by the conductor of his approach to the works. Just outstanding.

Friday, December 20, 2013

20 December 2013: Friday ... the day Mom was put on hospice ... shower/bath nirvana ... back washing ... called Bobbi Stenstrom ...


 

Today, it was celebrated with a Google Doodle (it was an ingenious crossword which I figured out with a lot of Web assistance), (actually tomorrow) is the 100th anniversary of the first Crossword Puzzle to appear in a newspaper in the United States. I just posted a piece on YouTube from CBS' Sunday Morning on the event ... very nice piece. I wrote in my post:

"
Happy ***Centennial*** Crossword Puzzle and thank you Arthur Wynne, its creator, for publishing the first in the Sunday edition of The New York World on December 21st, 1913."



But today is the day that I called Delaware Hospice (the number is ensconced into my

 iPhone) and they responded, as always, quickly with a visit. This time by two RNs,

 Amanda and Oji (Nigerian), who both felt, unequivocally, that mom met all the criteria

for hospice care.
Mom had no problem with the designation, it was actually a relief for

 all ... I've informed Doug, Susan, the kids, and even called Art Steele with the news. It

was the best choice and I will now have their invaluable assistance in her care. 

19 December 2013: Thursday ... getting set to leave for Bob & Alice's as I start this post ... it has been topsy-turvy day ...


This was mid-morning and I snuck up on her and got this angle with
the iPhone and posted it on FB. It was a quickie but thanks to the
photogenic nature of my dog, a true natural in front of the camera,
it always seems to come off, and the "loyal cadre" of Dancer devotees
love and "Like" the pics on my Facebook page.
 

The day began miserably at 4 a.m. with mom agonizing in her room as she moved from the bathroom back to her bed. I was aroused and sleepy but I pulled myself together quickly and thought rationally and as a result, felt a little put out (let's be honest here) at her, what I felt, was hyperbolic pain expression. But what do I know? I can't put myself in her place. She was in agony and she took it out on me, especially after I said, loudly and angrily, after she said, "I'm dying." "WE'RE ALL DYING MOM," I exploded. Not a good thing because then she spiraled down and I realized I wasn't going back to bed. 

As the day moved forward, slowly in the morning but quicker after I had medicated her, at her request, with a Vicodin and two Xanax, and she'd calmed a little and rested. Did not feed her or bring her tea until about 7:30 a.m. I did not rest but at least got to calm in the kitchen reading the paper, making some coffee, and eating some Cheerios with Raisin Bran and a banana (which, rather than composting in the backyard by tossing the sections into the ivy, I placed in the trash). 

But I had something to look forward to at the end of the day but thought that I might need a sitter, especially after the morning fireworks. It proved unnecessary as mom rallied and we established a truce and actually she did some walking and actually worked on some crosswords. She is watching less television.

The evening jaunt to Bob and Alice's began about twenty minutes to seven and I didn't return till after 10:30. It was marvelous to see them all -- Bob, Alice, Caleb (for dinner), Ron, and Kathy. We had a grand time in their lovely, Christmassy home with a beautiful Fraser fur and a fire going and the house trimmed with lights. Made me realize, during our talk, how much I have missed in their lives as they talked about travels out West and to Europe -- Bob taught for four weeks in France, I think, and they stayed with Alice's Aunt Jane Eakin, a painter who had a love affair with Isaac Stern and traveled with him, in the town of Menebre in Provence.


http://www.jane-eakin.com/index.php

One of the portraits on the web site was taken by the famous Gjon Mili.