2 March 2014: Sunday ... broken reading glasses by the mailbox ... almost tied my bowtie (Fr: noeud papillon) ... service at UU Fellowship of Newark ... lunch & walk w/Katia ...

There are some days that just stand out in one's life like your marriage or the birth of your first child that will remain embedded in the memory, cherished and held close for as long as one retains one sensibility and one's humanity. Today was such a day.

It was the final gathering and performance of the spirituals by the combined choirs from First Unitarian of Wilmington, UU Society of Mill Creek, and the UU Fellowship of Newark, where we met on this Sunday, the first of the month of March, a day that was grey and presaged the coming snowstorm that was to arrive that evening and bring snow through most of Monday.

There is a such a vibrant and large group of young people at UUFN. Had a delightful conversation with a young lady with curly hair (not unlike the checkout girl at Bachetti's) and her friend and questioned the electricity of the youth education at the church and all it activities. They referred to their dynamic youth leader (name escapes me but I hope to experience the place in the future with Christine). 

I was anxious for the planned date we'd made for the afternoon -- lunch with mom at home and travel to the Delaware Art Museum and possible walk in Rockford Park. It was an ebullient, even though the skies were overcast and it sprinkled a bit, one as Katia followed me to Zoup (then lost me for a bit as we left and she took her hybrid toward Kirkwood Hwy and I exited the torturous parking lot of Millcreek Shopping Center), but we made it to home and mom where she struck up an immediate intimacy (she has this remarkable ability to connect with people). As I entered the house with her and started to prepare the takeout soups and sandwiches on plates, she said let me meet your mother first, since I am a stranger. Not for long. The lunch lasted a while and I took in the conversation. Her most memorable and life-enhancing words dealt with what made Katia, Katia. It wasn't her profession, although that was part of her, but she put being a mother, a friend, and a caring human being ahead of the research scientist moniker. She is amazing. 

23 February 2014: Sunday ... WDAV.org on the iPhone ... coffee (he bought at Pathmark as I cycled at Y) wafting up from downstairs (Doug up early) at 4:48 a.m. ... UU Choirs assemble, Greg Pelley does sermon (dividing walls) ... Katia there, presentation at DBI tomorrow

Katia Sol-Church will be giving presentation at the Delaware Biotechnology Institute tomorrow afternoon. Unfortunately, it's a new group and she'd rather I attended other seminars at the Nemours Institute, which are open to the public, and which she will keep me posted.

Today was bow tie day and Gordon wore one (A CLIP-ON!!!) but I could not tie mine even though I brought it with me, purchased from J. C. Penney's yesterday for $25.00 (ouch), but better than $54.50 from the high-priced clothier (name eludes me) and its dewy-eyed vixen of a salesgirl. There was talk-back with our new, interim minister and talk of going to Anthony's Pizza afterward but I headed home to Doug and mom and no conversation and warmed up lasagna (pretty good). My brother left at 2 p.m., promptly, for the airport and his flight home.  

22 February 2014: Saturday ... I found Maude Carey or she found me at the Y at the coffee station ("Rudy Nyhoff?") ... dinner at the Farmhouse with Gail tonight ... bowtie bought for annual event starting tomorrow (courtesy Gordon Roth) ...

FROM THE ANNALS OF ADVERSITY: I saw it coming and could do nothing to stop the spillage of many of the pills from mom's 7-day, 4-chamber pill case, all over the floor of my bedroom closet. Oh, the feelings of anger and the words but it was cleaned up easily, especially when the small flashlight, held in my mouth, illuminated corners where a few Vicodin hid, but from this adversity, this pain-in-the-butt accident in the morning led to me finding a nice sweater, something lacking in my wardrobe. From an irritant to a delight, one must see through the anger of the moment and see what light might be revealed by moving forward and taking care of business. 

I was accosted, not really, by a woman, who I did not recognize initially, who queried ... "Rudy Nyhoff?" ... at the coffee/tea station in the main hallway of the Western "Y". When I took a closer look, she said her name, ***MAUDE CAREY***. What a revelation this morning and such a joy. 

She has been married since just after graduation from U of D to another graduate, Buddy Niedzielski (5 years her senior), and they have lived in the same home in Montclare, just behind Dickinson High School, ever since. The have one daughter, Anastasia, who is a 3rd year med student at the University of Michigan. Her husband is recently retired attorney from the Justice Department, a graduate of Widener, before the era of Professor Hayman. Maude is also a law graduate but did not pursue it. She is in the insurance industry.
                        WHAT A JOY TO SEE HER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!!!

I hold within me hatreds that can come to the surface and it is so difficult to look within and evaluate oneself honestly. I cannot separate from myself, stand away and look back at my actions and determine whether my path is correct. Judgmental is a state that is common in my being and tonight at dinner I displayed it in earnest. Our dear friend spoke of her experience in Australia in a godforsaken town (Oodnadatta, in the Australian state of South Australia) far out in the Outback with a couple hundred residents, far from civilization. I felt she disrespected the Aborigines by calling them "Abos" (sic). What right did I have to play the role of judge and jury. They say you should stand up to injustice and racism, but what do I know of her true intentions. Why do I have to judge? 

On the drive home it is so easy to say things that are hurtful but at the time of their utterance, feel so right. Why do we have to feel as though we are so in the right that our own declarations salve our needs but pour lemon on the open wound we have created in our loved one. It is passing fast this life of ours and like the African-American woman minister spoke, so eloquently, last Sunday -- compassion is love's companion, it's most critical and vital one. May it be so.