Friday, October 4, 2013

3 October 2013: Thursday, Take time to see the discrepancies and live between feelings ...

An early awakening, Dad up and Mom eating her breakfast, toast with the Dutch jam and tea at 5 a.m. and on the counter beside the sink in the bathroom, a reminder and this post on FB, which had 3 likes and one comment (a divine family one from Lori Jones) as of 4:30 p.m., when this post re-originated:




"Ever come upon something -- a sight, a smell, a sound -- that elicited a memory? This morning I looked in the bathroom and saw a matted, compact shaving brush (http://tinyurl.com/kggs4me), the "badger" bristles, once long and feathery, now shortened, stiff, and I saw my dad whirling and working up that lather with his right hand (not this morning but mornings past -- he still uses it, just missed him this am). 



If you have a second or two, share a moment. As I enter my second week of "adjustment" with my parents in my childhood home and theirs for 50 years now, I yearn for connection and meaning. Rekindling memory is a place to start."

Lori recalled an incident --
"One time when I still lived with my parents your dad came to visit. Teri was only 5 or 6. Your dad was shaving, 


putting shaving cream on with his brush and Teri was just staring at him. All 


of a sudden he turns quickly, roars at her and starts chasing her around the house with his shaving brush, face 

full of cream. It was hilarious!!!! Great memory I will never forget "

where Dad was shaving and Teri, age 5 or 6, saw him and he took after her with his face half-covered in shaving cream. She still gets a big kick out of it. Debbie remembered and also was amused at its recollection and at the time. 


I should have posted a single picture of a shaving brush, instead of the web site for shaving paraphernalia; however, it worked for me and its paucity of comments and likes does not detract. 

It appears as though Crossroads Restaurant, a name that Dad just can't recall -- this afternoon as our waitress, Nancy, took and placed our order, he asked that I phone Mom at home and I pulled the phone from my shirt (one that Mom had sewed a button on prior to my leaving the house), called and handed him the phone and when asked where he was, apparently, by Mom, he responds "Dover Downs" or somewhere and he asks what she wants for lunch and she says the foot-long hot dog but he does not ask about a side so he makes a command decision and goes for the baked beans -- is a nexus for meeting important people in the professional life of my father.

Crossroads Restaurant 

The last time we were there, as we left, he was stopped by a patient whose mother was seen for years by dad as was she. They remember, even though Dad or Dr. Nyhoff, often does not. She showed him a fuzzy picture and it still did not register, but still, the act of stopping him and recalling. There is a bond, an affinity and it is special.

Today, Dad was thrilled and yes, honored, to see a colleague, Dr. (Marvin?) Dorph, that he respects immensely, one who recently received an award. He was there when Dad was an intern at the Memorial Hospital in the 1960s, a little older, he looked great at 89, though he recently lost his wife, but he knew and called Dad by name: "Hello, Rudy." Surprisingly, when I asked him later for his name, he was unsure, but he did say that he became director of Emily Bissell Hospital, originally for tuberculosis patients, no, he worked at Governor Bacon Hospital, where he made rounds for geriatric, and worked with geriatrics (?). Again, I am not sure but it is good to see Dad engage with a friend, at least on a professional basis. It truly humanizes him, brings him to earth and provides a wholesome distraction from his chronic health state.
Picture of the Delaware State Hospital
The Delaware State Hospital for the Insane, at Farnhurst (above),  is also listed as one of the places with sterilization records. The Hospital continues to function today as a general hospital.  The Mental Hygiene Clinic and a Psychiatric Observation Clinic were also established at the Farnhurst site. 


The name I came up with an Internet Search was Dr. Marvin H. Dorph out of Hockessin but it provided no vital information like age. It does say his specialty is Internal Medicine. 

I had a productive trip to the library
, where I got my library card from a young Colin; to the Pathmark, where I got a savings card; and to Books and Tobacco in Millcreek Shopping Center, where I saw Kathy and bought a word circle book for movies & television for Mom and a "missing you card" for Alan Totten.

Kirkwood Public Library

As I walk the fields of Carousel Farm having passed a slough of young people stretching and flexing and running in the grass (there must have been a meet as there were a lot of cars parked in the lot), I take Dancer past a lovely Husky, all spit and vigor, pulling on his master's leash (they are such lovely dogs) and listening to an NPR article about organic, grass-fed beef and how the US, the largest producer of beef, imports much of that beef from Australia and countries in South America because they can produce and ship it cheaper. A producer in Missouri, a 1000 head feeding on 10,000 acres cannot produce it any cheaper, I called Alan and left a message and then phoned Olivia Lindsey-Sabor and got her and she said I sounded good and I gave her an update on my situation. So good to speak to her and then I fired off an e-mail to her at comcast.net and not her previous ISP, att.net, and I hope she responds. She says she looks at personal e-mail on her malfunctioning computer about once a week. 


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